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COPYRIGHT DEPOSrr. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 



OTHER WORKS 
BY PERCY MACKAYE 



The Canterbury Pilgrims. A Comedy 

Jeanne d' Arc. A Tragedy 

Sappho and Phaon. A Tragedy 

Fenris, the Wolf. A Tragedy 

A Garland to Sylvia. A Dramatic Reverie 

The Scarecrow. A Tragedy of the Ludicrous 

Mater. An American Study in Comedy 

Poems 

Lincoln : A Centenary Ode 

The Playhouse and the Play. Essays 



^0 

HAROLD STEELE MACKAYE 

THIS PLAY IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED 
BY HIS BROTHER 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 

A Satirical Come 



BY 



PERCY MACKAYE 



"A tinge of free soul-contemplation. 
And cosmopolitanisation. 
An outlook through the cloudy rifts. 
By narrow prejudice unhemmed, 
A stamp of high illumination. 
An Ur-Natur, ivith lore of life: * * 
The reason is— that Fm unmarried."' 
Ibsen: Peer Gynt. 



NEW YORK 

FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 






Copyright^ 1910, hy 
Frederick A. Stokes Company 



All rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign 
languages, including the Scandinavian 




November, 1910 



©GI.D 22112 



FOREWORD 

The acting rights of this play in America are held, 
for Miss Henrietta Crosman, by Mr. Maurice Camp- 
bell, under whose management it was first produced 
on the stage at Ann Arbor, Michigan, May 10, 1910, 
since when it has been acted, in consecutive perform- 
ances, through the Western States, opening in New 
York, at the Garrick Theatre, September 22, 1910. 

All persons desiring to read in public this or any 
other play by the author are requested to confer with 
the author through the publishers. 

The plays of Ibsen, and of other European masters 
in the modern drama, about whose works much of the 
dialogue of "Anti-Matrimony" lightly circles, are — 
it would seem needless to state here — far removed, 
by their sincerity and genius, beyond the direct shafts 
of this playful satire. Since, however, certain printed 
interpretations of the acted play have quaintly mis- 
conceived the main object of its allusions, and also im- 
puted to them a personal instead of a dramatic value, 
it may be fitting to refer any reader, curious of the 
writer's personal estimate of "the Masters" and their 
American "disciples," to his published volume, "The 
Playhouse and the Play," pages ninety-seven to one 
hundred one. 

P. M-K. 

Cornish, New Hampshire, October, 1910. 



CHARACTERS 

REV. ELLIOTT GREY. 
MILDRED, his wife. 
MORRIS, his younger brother. 
MRS. GREY, his mother. 
ISABELLE, Mildred's younger sister. 



Time — The Present. 

Place — The Grey Homestead, in a Suburban Town 
of Massachusetts. 



ACT I 



PROGRAMME OF THE PLAY 

as first produced in New York 
at the Garrick Theatre 

September 22, 1910. 



CHARLES FROHMAN : MANAGER 

MAURICE CAMPBELL 

Presents 

HENRIETTA CROSMAN 

in 

A NTI -MATRIMONY 

BY PERCY MACKAYE 



Cast of Characters 

Rev. Elliott Grey Walter Greene 

Mildred, his wife Miss Crosman 

Morris, his younger brother Gordon Johnstone 

Mrs. Grey, his mother Marian Holcombe 

IsABELLE, Mildred's younger sister. . . .Grace Carlyle 



ACT I 

The Hall — used as a library and living-room — of the 
Grey homestead, in a suburban town of Massa- 
chusetts. Through an open door and casement 
window at back is visible an apple orchard, in full 
bloom, with a distant vista of an old wooden struc- 
ture shaded by elms. At the right of centre, a 
staircase ascends to a landing, which leads to inner 
rooms, right. A window, at back, lights the land- 
ing, which is separated from the hall by a slender 
railing and by curtains between the woodwork. 
At left and right, down stage, doors. At right, a 
fireplace, above which hangs a large diagram map. 
On the mantel shelf, a clock. Beneath the land- 
ing, a low desk, littered with papers. At left cen- 
tre, an ample table. Under the casement window, 
at back, and left, book shelves. Near the newel- 
post of the stairs, a small table on which are a vase 
and a phonograph. At right, a settee. The remain- 
ing furniture is quietly tasteful and old-fashioned, 

Elliott Grey is sitting at the desk; Morris is stand- 
ing near the door. The former is dressed in plain, 
unministerial garb — a quiet, everyday working 
suit; the latter wears clothes which suggest a pro- 
nounced exotic taste. 

3 



4 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Well, Morris, and how does it seem after five years? 

MORRIS 

How does what seem? 

ELLIOTT 

The old place. The city has slowly risen round 
us like a tide, but it has left this piece of our old 
homestead like a little island. From where you stand 
that outlook has hardly changed since we were boys. 

MORRIS 

I beg pardon. From where / stand the outlook 
has utterly changed. 

ELLIOTT 

\_With a quick smile. 1 
Introspectively, you mean? Well, I still see the 
same old apple orchard and the cider-mill dam, where 
we used to fish for suckers. 

MORRIS 

[Caustically.^ 
And the suckers still bite, I suppose! 

ELLIOTT 

[Putting an arm over his shoulder. '^ 
Come, come, dear old Morris 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 5 

MORRIS 

[^Detaching himself. '\ 
Please ! Have the decency, Elliott, not to nickname 
me. My name is Maurice. 

ELLIOTT 

\_Laughing.'\ 
Oh, I forgot. You brought that back from Paris 
with your imperial. Honestly, though; they're both 
a bit far-fetched, don't you think.? 

MORRIS 

Yes, thank God ! I had to go far for it, but I've 
brought back an aesthetic sense at least — to this bleak 
old place. Do you want to know what / see out there 
in that orchard .? 

ELLIOTT 

Tell me. 

MORRIS 

In the shade of dead boughs, I see the shadows of 
dead men: wan, bony forms in black, with square 
skulls hid deep in Puritan peaked hats. Beneath nine 
withered cypresses they have twisted nine pulpits of 
poison ivy, from which they preach to the generations 
of young girls and boys. And the text of all nine is 
Hypocrisy. You, Elliott, are the latest of their pro- 
fession — in the dear old homestead. 



6 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

\_Quietly.~\ 
And you are my brother. 

MORRIS 

Very true; that's why I'm here. Because we are 
brothers, I am here to save you. I have come back 
from Europe, from the places of art and freedom and 
modernity, to this home churchyard, to rescue you 
from the ghosts of our Puritan ancestors ; to mount 
beside you into that old pulpit of yours next Sun- 
day, and declare war against all the spectres of con- 
vention. 

ELLIOTT 

So you would preach too ! 

MORRIS 

Yes; iconoclasm, schism, revolution. 

ELLIOTT 

And what is your text.? 

MORRIS 

Anti-Matrimony : there is the beginning of emanci- 
pation. 

ELLIOTT 

Emancipation of what? 

MORRIS 

Of the individual — ^the individual soul. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 7 

ELLIOTT 

Honestly, don't you think there are more important 
matters? Look at this chart a moment. Here is a 
map of our city — our city as it might be — as it will 
be, if we citizens can learn to care less about our own 
little souls, and more about the great soul about us — 
the community. 

[MoREis turns away with a shrug and lights a cig- 
arette.'] 
The city — think what we might make of it! Not 
a crumbling heap of scrambling individuals, each seek- 
ing his own salvation at the expense of all, but a 
strong tower of Man — organic, coherent, self -planned, 
guarding the salvation of all in the subordinated good 
of each. 

Moimis 

{Humming,'] 

Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, 

Dormez-vous ? Dormez-vous ? 

MORRIS 

[Pointing with a pen-holder.] 
Look: here's the river, fronted by public archi- 
tecture and the park embankment. Here are com- 
mons for the children. Here are public tenements 
for the poor. This is the Hall of Labor. Here is 
the civic theatre, focus of festival, pageantry and the 
united arts. Here are the central library, the national 



8 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

academies — of science, painting, sculpture; the pub- 
lic athletic stadium. These are the Halls of Arbitra- 
tion and Invention, the municipal house of music, the 
public studios of the arts and crafts. 

MORRIS 

Sonnez les matines, 

Sonnez les matines : 

Din-din-don ! 



ELLIOTT 

All this, my dear fellow, is no chart of Utopia. It 
is the published plan of shrewd public leaders : citi- 
zens who no longer laugh at applying imagination 
to men's common interests. This now, as a minister 
and citizen, is my chief work and study, and I am 
only one worker among a hundred thousand. So you 
see this "home-churchyard," as you call it, is not 
wholly haunted by ghosts. What do you say to our 
planning.? 

MORRIS 

[Snapping his -fingersJ] 
That — for your ideal community ! Freedom is the 
first thing, and freedom is based in the individual ; but 
the home undermines the individual, converting him 
to a tyrant or a slave. Therefore the first act of a 
free community must be to abolish the home. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 9 

ELLIOTT 

Do I understand, because you have chosen to live 
with Isabelle outside the marriage code, that you ad- 
vocate a similar course for all men? 

Momiis 
Certainly. Marriage is a mere makeshift. 

ELLIOTT 

Of course; I grant you that, at once. But so was 
the tea-kettle in which Watts discovered the steam- 
engine — a mere makeshift. In the sight of God, what 
is man himself — ^but a makeshift? Yet it is surpris- 
ing what a miracle can be educed from a makeshift, 
if we have the patience to wheedle it and the imagina- 
tion to construct it. 

The question is : For a starter, what have we better 
than a makeshift? 

[^TJie door, right, is opened a little way. On the sill 
Mrs. Grey pauses, hesitatingly. 1 

MORRIS 

What have we better? We have the thing itself — 
the ideal — ^the ultimate consummation ! We have love 
— passionate, chainless, Olympian love ; yes, free love 
— free love. Do the words bum you? 

\_The door is closed quickly. ~\ 

ELLIOTT 

Hush! That was mother. 



10 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

"Hush" !— The Hypocrite's own lullaby ! 

ELLIOTT 

You might be tactful, at least. 

MORRIS 

Of course ! "Tip-toe goes the Tactful-Man !" We 
learned it in our pinafores, with "Trotty goes a 
lady." 

ELLIOTT 

Don't you know that it hurts — it shocks her? 

MORRIS 

Of course I know it. I know that it shocked the 
world when Galileo told it that it turned. Well, there 
must be one truth-teller in a generation. 

ELLIOTT 

My dear Galileo ! the world — as you have said — will 
go on turning, but let me remind you that it revolves 
quietly on the same old axis and never treads on the 
corns of the constellations. Revolution is not neces- 
sarily Chaos-come-again. 

MORRIS 

\_Bows, with a smile.l 
The prettiest retort I've heard since leaving Paris. 
Quite worthy of a modem and a European. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 11 

ELLIOTT 

[After returning his mock-bow.l 
Thanks, boy. I guess, though, you and I are still 
Yankee-stock, with some salt of the old humor to 
save us. 

MORRIS 

No, by the Lord, not I ! Your American humor is 
the bane of all art and temperament and beauty 1 It 
hangs over the land like a malaria ; its mosquitoes in- 
fect you with an itching laughter. No, sir; I've re- 
covered once. Deliver me from ever catching that 
contagion again. 

ELLIOTT 

{With a laugh.'] 
I'm afraid, then, you're rashly exposing yourself 
here. You'll find us a hotbed of Yankee tricks — es- 
pecially Mildred. 

MORRIS 

Nonsense; Mildred is a cosmopolite. To be sure, 
she married you, a Yankee minister, but that was just 
tragic fate, and she has kept herself wonderfully un- 
contaminated. [Exalt edly.'] Mildred is one of the 
Muses, wandered from her mountain. I have hopes of 
her climbing up again — to rejoin Isabelle. 

ELLIOTT 

Capital! Mildred will make a poet of you, if you 
give her the chance. 



12 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

She might have made one of you, if you hadn't 
married her. Husbands are banished from Hehcon. 

ELLIOTT 

Come now, dear fellow ; this is all very clever and 
amusing for you and me, but don't forget that it 
won't do for our little Mammy in there. She is quite 
innocent of humor, Yankee or transatlantic. She has 
been looking forward to your return home for years, 
and when you arrived from the steamer yesterday 
with Isabelle and little Cynthia, and sprung that 
amazing news that you had never been married, she 
was prostrated. She says little, but she loves you, 
and she is very unhappy. 

MORRIS 

Do I want her to be? But there you are ! There's 
the tyranny of home life, as I told you. Sons must 
lie to their mothers, brothers must cry "Hush" and 
advise dissembling ; the whole house must smell mouldy 
with hypocrisy, so that old family ghosts shall not be 
offended, and prudish little mothers shall remain 
blindfold and happy. But what of the truth.? Truth, 
sir, is my religion. 

ELLIOTT 

Behold him! The old family ghost has swapped 
his peaked hat for an imperial. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 13 

MORRIS 

Oh, shucks! 

ELLIOTT 

Bully! "Shucks" is the stuff! You used to say 
"Shucks !" when you'd lost a sucker in the mill-pond. 
Do say it again. 

MORRIS 

Never, while I live! Come, speak out: Do you 
want me to leave this house, or to live in it happily — 
truthfully.? 

ELLIOTT 

Both. I want you to leave it for a wedding, and 
live happily in it — as long after as possible. 

MORRIS 

That's your proposition; I refuse it. Now, here 
is mine. You are my brother. Mildred is Isabelle's 
sister. I ask you and your wife to join me and my 
mistress in a crusade of emancipation; a crusade 
against marriage; a campaign of Anti-Matrimony. 
Will you.? 

ELLIOTT 

Shucks, dear boy! You really must learn to say 
"Shucks" again. 

MORRIS 

Well and good. But remember: Since Isabelle and 
I cannot avoid being relatives, you and the family — 
take the consequences ! 



14 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

lExit Morris out of doors. Elliott starts to folloWy 
hut pauses, biting the tip of his pen-holder. The 
door, right, slowly opens again, and there enters 
a subdued, neat little woman, with smooth brown 
hair, growing white about the temples. She 
comes forward hesitatingly, holding the fingers 
of her left hand i/ii her right, as in habit. This 
posture she alters occasionally, to stroke pen- 
sively dowmvard the front of her dress. '\ 

MRS. GREY 

Are you alone, Elliott? 

ELLIOTT 

[Turning.'] 
He's in the orchard, Mother. 

MRS. GREY 

I have been trying to comprehend, Elliott, why 
this visitation should have come upon us. For nine 
generations, your father's family and mine have been 
pew-holders, or ministers, right here in Massachu- 
setts. 

ELLIOTT 

Perhaps that's why. Mother. 

MRS. GREY 

Why— what, Elhott? 

ELLIOTT 

Crops need rotating, you know. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 15 

MRS. GREY 

Crops? You mistook me. I was speaking of our 
families, your father's and mine. I have been trying 
to reconcile it; to make it seem right. 

ELLIOTT 

Now, dearest Mammy, no tears. 

MRS. GREY 

[Wiping her eyes shyly. ~\ 
I didn't know that I was — excuse me. Morris was 
always a peculiar boy. Your father was peculiar, at 
times — only at times. We used to say often, at break- 
fast, or walking to church, or — "Morris is peculiar, 
but a nice boy." He never liked to wear stiff collars, 
but then, somehow — he looked nice without them. 

ELLIOTT 

I guess he always will. 

MRS. GREY 

WiWwhat, Elliott? 

ELLIOTT 

[Smiling. ~\ 
Be a nice boy. 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, do you think he will! And will he let you 
marry him to Isabelle right away? They needn't 
wait for their trunks. 



16 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

I was just talking with him about that. 

MRS. GREY 

What did he say.^ I overheard him using such — 
such unusual expressions. 

ELLIOTT 

Whatever he may say, Motherkin, we must never 
forget that Morris is a really nice boy. 

MRS. GREY 

What should I do without you, Elliott! You are 
always so reassuring. And so is Mildred. She is an 
ideal minister's wife. She is so tactful. And though 
she is quick and gay, she never hurts anybody's feel- 
ings. Sometimes I don't understand her jokes, but 
she is always ready to repeat them to me — slowly. 
Even when she dances at the church sociables, she 
dances so tactfully. You and she are so beautifully 
matched. I do wish that Isabelle 

ELLIOTT 

Isabelle is much younger, and so is Morris. 

MRS. GREY 

And to think they should have the baby. Poor 
little darling! Eleven months, and it has never been 
christened. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 17 

ELLIOTT 

Hasn't Mildred told you her plan? 

MRS. GREY 

A plan? Has Mildred a plan? But, Elliott, how 
could it be christened ? Just Cynthia would never do ; 
and Isabelle's name is Allston. Oh, I can't seem to 
realize it yet ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Putting his arm about her.'] 
There, there! Let's go and have a peep at her. 
She shall be Cynthia Grey, of course. 

MRS. GREY 

Oh yes, Elliott. You will marry them, won't you — 

before the neighbors begin to call? 

[They go into an inner room, left. After a paufie, 
the door, right, is opened, and Mildred enters. 
She is dressed in a simple morning- gown, and 
moves lightly across the room. She lifts a sew- 
ing-hag from the settee and takes it to the table, 
where she sits. Behind her follows Isabelle, 
dressed in a gown of charm, symmetry and dis- 
tinction. She pauses, with a half-studied, half- 
artless pose of young-girlishness.] 

MILDRED 

I left it on the settee. 



18 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Sewing is such unemancipated work. I should 
think you would prefer dancing, Mildred. You used 
to dance well to my fiddhng. 

MILDRED 

Old married folks dance to a finer fiddle, my dear 
Isabelle. 

[Holding a silk thread m her teethy she pulls it taut 
with her left hand, while with her right she draws a 
knitting-needle across it, humming between her 
lips.l 
Needles and pins ! Needles and pins ! 

ISABELLE 

Just what I've been telhng you ! And yet you look 
needles and pins and daggers at me because I'm not 
silty enough to follow your example. 

MILDRED 

Daggers at you! — I? 

ISABELLE 

Well, anyway, Maurice's mother does — when she 
looks at me at all. 

MILDRED 

Mother Grey ? Why, Mother could sooner swallow 
daggers than look them. I wouldn't cast Motherkin 
as the villainess. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 19 

ISABELLE 

\^With a compassionate smile. ^ 
How little you know of human nature, my poor 
Mildred! 

MILDRED 

How could it be otherwise, dear? You forget my 
horizons are limited. Perhaps, now, if I could realize 
some of your larger experiences — 

ISABELLE 

That's it. But how can you.-^ Here you are im- 
prisoned in a petty American home, shackled for life 
to a suburban minister — of all men-creatures! — en- 
slaved to an inexorable mother-in-law, and com- 
pelled, by the pin-pricks of torturing respectability, 
to receive at church sociables ! My poor Mildred ! I 
feel for you deeply. 

MILDRED 

You make me feel for myself. Belle. How your 
vocabulary has improved! 

ISABELLE 

Naturally ; I have improved it by something bet- 
ter than sewing. Maurice and I are disciples of the 
world-literature. I suppose you don't know the works 
of the old Founders. 

MILDRED 

The old founders ? You mean of the United States ? 



20 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

My dear, the United States lies outside the pale 
of literature. I refer to the old Masters of our drama 
and philosophy ! But of course you never read them. 

MILDRED 

Oh, not so bad as that. Elliott often reads aloud 
Bishop Berkeley, and I read to him Shakespeare 
and 

ISABELLE 

Please — please ! My poor sister. Don't tell me 
you are ignorant of the old Masters — even their 
names! Haven't 3^ou ever heard of Nietzsche? 

MILDRED 

How do you spell it, dear.? 

ISABELLE 

Great heavens ! — Or Ibsen ? 

MILDRED 

[With wicked assumption of ndivete.~\ 
To be sure! Wasn't he an arctic-explorer.? 

ISABELLE 

Oh, you're beyond salvation! Do you know 

why Maurice and I decided to return to this unspeak- 
able country.? 

MILDRED 

Seems to me Morris mentioned — some complication 
about a mortgage, wasn't it.? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 21 

ISABELLE 

Mortgage ! O Mildred, how garishly American you 
are ! Maurice and I left Europe for your sakes. Mau- 
rice came back to save Elliott, and I to save you. 

MILDRED 

Dear Belle, I might have guessed it. It's so like 
you — both. 

ISABELLE 

We might have continued to revel alone in the 
mountain glories of our emancipation. But no, like 
Zarathustra, we decided to descend and bear our sun- 
rise into the valleys of convention, and scatter our 
stars among the cities of hypocrisy. And so, soon 
after the baby came, we began to think of Elliott 
and you. 

MILDRED 

I know, dear. I'm so sorry they have the servant 
problem over there too. 

ISABELLE 

You literal-minded wife! Have you lost all im- 
agination.'' Dear, dear! How can I ever thank 
Maurice enough for preserving me from this wife- 
hood ! 

MILDRED 

l^Rising.'] 
Hark, dear! 



22 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

What's the matter? 

MILDRED 

Isn't that the baby crying? 

ISABELLE 

[^With visible anxiety. '\ 
Do you think so? I'd better see. \^She hurries 
toward the door left, hut suddenly pauses as she 
catches a glimpse outside of Morris looking in the 
door. Her manner instantly changes.'] Nonsense, 
it's of no importance. 

MILDRED 

No importance! But the child — 

[Mildred, too, catches sight of Morris.] 

ISABELLE 

Please change the subject. My dearest Maurice 
has told me never to belittle my mind with such trifles. 

MILDRED 

What model obedience ! 

ISABELLE 

It's instinctive. As my Maurice has so eloquently 
expressed it in one of his most convincing sonnets to 
me, 

"Where law lays no compulsion love obeys." 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 23 

MILDRED 

I congratulate your husband! 

MORRIS 

Please . — don't insult your sister. She has no hus- 
band. 

ISABEIiLE 

[^Turning. 1 
Why, Maurice! How you surprised me! 

MILDRED 

How you surprised us — both. 

MORRIS 

l^Snubhing Mildred, speaks to Isabelle.] 
I am happy, love, to surprise you in thoughts of 

me. I'll be back in a moment. 

[Throwmg a kiss, which she returns, he disappears 
toward the orchard. Isabelle then goes quickly 
to the door left, listens, opens it a crack, looks 
in longingly, but closes it again slowly.^ 

isabelle 
She's in her crib — ^the darling ! Her grandmother 
is looking at her. 

MILDRED 

Looking daggers .^^ 



M ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

\^Draws herself up haughtily.'] 
Mildred, you heard just now how nobly Maurice 
rescued me from your insult. But you have not yet 
retracted it. 

MILDRED 

My dear, now you're silly. 

ISABELIiE 

You referred to him as my husband. 

MILDRED 

And I shall advise him to confirm the reference. 

ISABELLE 

[Wildly.'] 
But how dare you ! I never said he was my hus- 
band. 

MILDRED 

I trust you will say so before night. 

ISABELLE 

Then how — how could you — when I never said it 
— how could you ever suppose such a thing! 

MILDRED 

I'm not supposing it; I'm just arranging it. 

ISABELLE 

\_Gasping.'] 
Oh, I thought 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 25 

MILDRED 

It's SO simple, you see, having a minister and jus- 
tice of the peace right in the family. 

ISABELLE 

Elliott, you mean ! I see ; you are plotting to get 
your jailer to put me in irons too. I hold out my 
arms to emancipate you, and you would clap hand- 
cuffs on me. Never! My lover and I are free. I 
am Maurice's mistress ; I rejoice, I revel, to declare it. 

MILDRED 

Belle, don't be shocking. 

ISABELLE 

Shocking ! Ha, at last ! I have looked forward to 
this moment for years. 

MILDRED 

Please look back on it, as quickly as possible. 

ISABELLE 

I had faith, and my faith has borne fruit. I be- 
lieved you would call me "shocking." [Mildred 
hides her face.'] Now I know I am great. Yes, I 
can say it simply, proudly. [Observing Mildred, 
who rises and turns away to stifle her laughter.] Oh, 
turn away from me. Spurn me. Leave me ! You 
laugh! You deride me, of course. I am your fallen 
sister, cast off, held up to pitiless mockery, in the 
rack of convention. Oh, how history repeats itself! 



^6 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[Straightening her face.~\ 
Never, Isabelle! I defy history to reproduce you. 

ISABELLE 

That's because you know nothing of history or hfe 
or experience. Do not imagine we are created unique 
— sweet as it would be to think so ! We are all links 
in a sublime evolution. All the great of our sex have 
been shocking — from Cleopatra to Candida. 

MILDRED 

[Raising her hands, turns away m laughter. ~\ 
Sisterkin ! Sisterkin ! 

ISABELLE 

Yes, even so they were cried out upon ! Has Time 
forgotten the ignoble persecution of Magda? When 
she strove to lift up the petty souls of her relatives 
into the lofty plain of her own individuality — what 
was her reward? History has recorded! And glori- 
ous Rebecca — divine Rebecca West ! 

MILDRED 

What did she do ? Please tell me. 

ISABELLE 

How could you understand? 'She was not the dupe 
of matrimonial ghosts. She shocked the world and 
taught her lover to shock it. Together they obeyed 
the call of their supersouls, and she leaned on her 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 27 

lover's heart as they went forth to the mill-race. 
l^Melo dramatic ally. 1 O my Mildred, must I also be 
driven to the dark waters? 

MILDRED 

Don't, dear; don't! 

ISABELLE 

Yes, they alone who shock the world shall save it. 
The lives of supermen "await ahke the inevitable 
hour." 

MILDRED 

You have humbled me, Belle. Teach me some more. 

ISABELLE 

Ah, my sister; if you could indeed learn from 
me 

MILDRED 

But I AM learning. I'm taking notes. 

ISABELLE 

You would learn that I am only the last of a great 
line of female emancipators. I could tell you of Nora 
Halsted and Ann Whitefield and Rautendelein — 
they're all in Maurice's dress-suit case. 

MILDRED 

Oh, where is it.? 



28 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Upstairs, in his room, by the washstand. He al- 
ways keeps them for reference, in his playwriting-. 
Magda hasn't arrived yet ; she's in my steamer trunk. 

MILDRED 

Mayn't I go and fetch some of them down? 

ISABELLE 

You? You, a married woman, invade the sanctu- 
aries of the Masters ! No, / guard the key of the 
suit-case. 

MILDRED 

Do you mean I mayn't even set eyes on them? 

ISABELLE 

Not while you continue to Hve in your indelicate 
bondage with Elliott. 

MILDRED 

I suppose, then, I am never to tread those sacred 
precincts of his harem. 

ISABELLE 

His harem! What are you talking about? 

MILDRED 

Your rivals — Ann, Rebecca and the rest — whom 
you keep shut so fast in the sacred suit-case. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 29 

ISABELI.E 

How indecorously your married mind interprets us ! 
I have no rivals, my dear; I can never have any. 
Those immortal women are all embodied in me. That 
is why Maurice loves me; that is why I lure onward 
and upward the soul of Maurice — his ewig weihliche. 
I'm an incarnation. Can't you understand.? 

MILDRED 

I think I'm beginning to, dear. I was just won- 
dering — suppose he should meet another one. 

ISABELLE 

Another what ? 

MILDRED 

Another incarnation. 

ISABELLE 

But how could he while I live.? Well, here I am! 
Don't you see.? 

MILDRED 

Oh! — why, yes. How stupid of me! But what — 
what if you should meet another one? 

ISABELLE 

That's different, of course; / might. For, you 
see, I am the incarnation ; not Maurice. I lead him 
upward, and he follows. Do you follow me? 

MILDRED 

Yes, I follow ; he follows — what follows then ? 



30 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Don't be facetious. Put down your sewing. You 
said you wished to learn. You can't expect to under- 
stand deep things without concentration. 

MILDRED 

Please ; I'll be good. 

ISABELLE 

Well, then — to make it clearer — when I lead on- 
ward and upward, just supposing he shouldn't fol- 
low 

MILDRED 

^Shutting her eyes.'] 
Bing ! Poor Morris ! 

ISABELLE 

Yes; you see, then, how awful it would be if we 
were tied together for life by the chains of conven- 
tion. 

MILDRED 

Do you suppose it would be suicide, or simply 
murder? 

ISABELLE 

Oh, of course, we're not supposing. As a matter 
of fact, I need never dread that Maurice will bring 
such suffering upon himself, because — well, to speak 
frankly, because I know the unlimited influence for 
his own good which I exert over him. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 31 

MILDRED 

My little sister, you have matured wonderfully in 
womanhood. I confess that all you have said sets me 
thinking. 

ISABELLE 

Please, then, dear, apply it to your own slavish 
and unhappy circumstances. If you love Elliott as 
I love Maurice, emancipate yourself and him and con- 
secrate yourselves, like Maurice and me, to the cause 
of Anti-Matrimony. 

MILDRED 

Do you mean I should apply for a divorce? 

ISABELLE 

Heaven forbid! Nothing is more bourgeois and 
American. No; just confess your undying abhor- 
rence of the marriage state, study the Masters, and 
make it your mission to shock people, with the utmost 
consideration and good breeding. 

[Enter Morris, carrying sprays of apple-hlossom.'] 

MORRIS 

My beloved! 

ISABELLE 

My adored! How long you have stayed away! 

MORRIS 

I have been searching for a token of our love, and 
I have brought you these. 



32 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELI.E 

\_Taking them.~\ 
Apple-blossoms ! How perfectly sweet ! 

MORIIIS 

And mystical, dear, as they are sweet. I stood be- 
neath the orchard boughs and watched the pollen- 
dusted bees singing from flower to flower ; each bough 
was a little commonwealth of natural lovers. 

ISABELLE 

[Sighing.'] 
A little commonwealth of natural lovers ! 

MORRIS 

Each delicate bloom yielded its flushing soul to its 
ardent wooer. All was harmonious love and lyric rap- 
ture. Here, I thought, is the Garden of Anti-Matri- 
mony. I will pluck of these blooms and bring them 
to my beloved. 

ISABELLE 

Your beloved accepts them as a perfect symbol. 

MORRIS 

Wear them as your garland of innocence and free 
love. 

MILDRED 

\_Comimg between them from behind, takes the apple- 
blossoms.'] 
May I not share in this symbol? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY SS 

ISABELLE 

{^With wide eyes.'\ 
Mildred, how gross of you! 

MORRIS 
[To ISABELLE.] 

Have you made no headway in converting her to 
our cause? 

ISABELLE 

I'm sure I don't know. When I think that I have 
succeeded in awakening her soul just a little — she 
makes some terrible remark like that. 

MORRIS 

I think, love, she may not have understood us. 
[Glancing at Mildred, who has resumed her needle- 
work with sudden fervor.^ She seems absorbed in her 
sewing. 

ISABELLE 

That's just it. Her instincts are so abjectly mat- 
rimonial. 

MORRIS 

\To Mildred.] 
May I ask, is that embroidery.'^ 

MILDRED 

Do you think it pretty? It's for Cynthia. 

MORRIS 

For Cynthia! 



34 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Yes; I'm just finishing it for to-morrow's cere- 
mony. 

ISABELLE 

What ceremony? 

MILDRED 

Haven't you heard? Why, the christening. 

MORRIS AND ISABELLE 

The christening! 

MILDRED 

Yes; Elliott and I thought it would be so nice to 
have it performed just after the wedding — right in 
the home circle, you know. 

MORRIS 
[To ISABELLE.] 

What is the meaning of this? 

ISABELLE 

I suppose this is a sample of her American humor. 

MILDRED 

^Showing the embroider y.l^ 
See; it's a baby chasuble. It slips over the short 
dress, and her head goes through here. The little new 
moons are for Cynthia, and the pussy-willow buds are 
for Grey. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 35 

MORRIS 

Grey? Not if / know it! "Cynthia" all you 
please, but "Grey" — never! No child of mine shall 
be suspected of legitimacy. 

MILDRED 

Why, Morris 

MORRIS 

No ! My daughter is a waif, a foundling — thank 
God! 

MILDRED 

Isn't she to have any last name? 

MORRIS 

That's the state's business; not mine. 

MILDRED 

Oh! are you going to hand her over to the state 
authorities ? 

MORRIS 

Why not? They can name her what they please; 
anything but "Grey." 

MILDRED 

[Pensively. 1 I 

Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut; which 
do you prefer, Isabelle.'^ Cynthia, Mass..? 

ISABELLE 

I never prefer ; I ask Maurice. One doesn't argue 
with Maurice ; one learns from him. 



36 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Children in arms are a menace to a free republic. 
They are the natural enemies of individual freedom. 
Therefore, it is the first function of a civilized state 
to provide a national defence of nursing-laboratories 
and to levy a tax on all celibate citizens for their 
maintenance. 

MILDRED 

You mean that the bachelors and old maids should 
support all the babies? But wouldn't that tend to 
encourage matrimony? 

MORRIS 

No ; for the state should compel all legitimate issue 
to be reared at home. The servant problem then 
would do the rest, and the matrimonial race would 
cease to survive. 

MILDRED 

I see. Your state would encourage race-suicide. 

MORRIS 

Not in the least. The child-bearing population, 
you see, would be divided into two classes : Mats and 
Anti-Mats. But, of course, the Anti-Mats, being ex- 
empt from both nurses and taxes, would be doubly 
encouraged to provide the needful population. 

ISABELLE 

Now, Mildred, I trust you see the hopelessness of 
arguing with IMaurice. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 37 

MILDRED 

Oh, I do. And so, my dear sister and brother, I 
propose that we just stop playing this Hvely Httle 
game of word-tennis and take hold of hands like good 
children, and go in and give a kiss to our nice old 
Mammy, and tell her to get ready for the wedding. 

MORRIS 

[Beside himself.^ 
Wedding, again! You and Elliott amaze me. 
Haven't I told you twenty times we're not married 
and never will be ! 

MILDRED 

Yes, my dear boy ; but fortunately since you ar- 
rived last night only the family have heard your re- 
marks. So, since it's only a matter of becoming my 
brother-in-law 

MORRIS 

In-law! Isabelle, to think of having IN-LAW 
branded on our souls ! 

MILDRED 

Come, dears, we must really be practical. Elliott 
can sign your papers and bless you in a jiffy. Or if 
you want to wait a little, and meantime call your- 
selves Mr. and Mrs. 

MORRIS 

Call ourselves ! Mildred, I thought better of you. 
Do you wish us to be guilty of a lie — a living lie of 
love ? 



S8 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

I am quite serious. Your mother is getting old. 
The scandal would break her heart and her health. 
Please! Won't you be good for your mother's sake.? 

MORRIS 

Yes ; I will be good for my mother's sake. I will 
consider her weakness, and be unmoved by it — for her 
sake. Mothers have been weak before mine. In war, 
mothers have begged their sons to desert the cause — 
for their sakes ; and afterwards they have blessed 
those sons for refusing to desert — for their sakes. 
Do you imagine, then, that I will betray my cause in 

the state — mz/ battle — my 

[The door, left, opens and Mrs. Grey enters, in 
alarm J\ 

MRS. GREY 

Mildred! Come quickly. I think the baby has 
swallowed a safety-pin. 

ISABELLE 

Oh! 

{^Agitated, she starts to leave, hut stops, glancing at 
Morris, who has also started, but checks himself 
abruptly.'] 

MILDRED 

Don't worry, mother. The state will remove it, 
Ask Morris. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 59 

MRS. GREY 

State, my dear! 

MILDRED 

What do you say, Isabelle? 

ISABELLE 

[Looking toward Morris, hut hy her gestures anx- 
iously urging Mildred toward the door.^ 
I am listening to Maurice. I'm sure you are quite 
competent to deal with these petty concerns of diges- 
tion. 

MILDRED 

[Following Mrs. Grey out.'\ 
All right, mother. I will assist at the state cere- 
mony. 

[Exeunt. Isabelle, after watching the door close, 
turns slowly to Morris, who stands gloomily ex- 
alted and absorbed.^ 

isabelle 
Beloved — we are alone. 

morris 
[Starting.'l 
At last! [They approach each other from op- 
posite sides of the room.^ 

ISABELLE 

My superman! 

morris 
My oversoul! 



40 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

My Zarathustra! 

MORRIS 

My Heloise! 

ISABELLE 

My Master Builder! 

MORRIS 

My Rebekka West ! 

[They embrace.'] 

ISABELLE 

I will stand beside you in the pillory of public 
scorn; husbands and wives shall point, and name us 
a hated name ; yet will I smile and say, Lo ! I am glad 
and unashamed. 

MORRIS 

Our love shall lift us above the clouds ; the princes 
of the world shall bow down to us in their hearts ; but 
behold, the slave and the fool and the hypocrite shall 
cry, "Unclean ! unclean !" 

ISABELLE 

We will go forth alone into the deserts and the si- 
lent places. There we will supply to the v/orld de- 
tailed information of our solitary days. 

MORRIS 

Decadence, ribaldry, scandal, can never wrong us, 
my beloved ; for they shall all be transmuted to mate- 
rial for my latest play. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 41 

ISABELLE 

My modern mystic! 

MORRIS 

My immortal BashkirtsefF ! 
\^He leads her to the open door, at back. Meantime, 
the door, left, reopens and Mildred enters,'] 

MILDRED 

It was a safety-pin, my dears, so she didn't swal- 
low it. 

[Mildred looks toward Morris and Isabelle, who 
manifestly have not heard her, where they stand 
— their arms about each other — facing the or- 
chard. Taking in the situation, Mildred hur- 
ries tip-toe across to the foot of the stairs, which 
she climbs, very quietly, to the landing, pausing 
once or twice to glance toward the two lovers, 
who remain oblivious of her entrance.] 

MORRIS 

Hark to the golden ritual of the bees; they are 
chanting hymns to their Utopia. How did you like 
my symbol? 

ISABELLE 

[Spying on the table the b ah y- chasuble, lifts it, un- 
seen of Morris.] 
Beautiful ! 

morris 
You're not wearing the apple-blossoms. 



m ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Quickly dropping the hdby dress y picks up the apple 
sprays from the table.'] 
They would fade, dearest. I'll put them in water. 
\_She takes them to the vase by the newel-post. '\ 

MORRIS 

\_Watching her.'] 
Keep your face so — against them. 

ISABELLE 

[Smiling. ] 
Are they so becoming to me.? 

MORRIS 

You — to them. Ah, my living goddess, I am afraid 
I did wrong to bring you back to this old house of 
phantoms. 

ISABELLE 

Don't be blue. 

MORRIS 

I have reasons. I have wrestled with my brother, 
to save him. It's hopeless. How did you succeed 
with your sister .^^ 

ISABEI.I.E 

; No better, I'm afraid. She lacks the tragic spirit ; 

j they all do here in America. I've quoted the Masters 
— I've quoted you — I've told her about everything, 
except our marriage. Do you think I ought to men- 
tion it — confidentially ^ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 43 

MORRIS 

Mention it ! Great God, haven't I told you to for- 
get it? 

ISABELLE 

Certainly, dear. But I thought perhaps if I just 
mentioned how we were married for form's sake in 
Vienna, but how of course that can never affect our 
ideals 

MORRIS 

[/tz a great voice. 1 
Isabelle ! 
{Above on the landing Mildred beckons; Elliott en- 
ters there from off right; Mildred motions si- 
lence to him, while they listen, with 'pantomime, 
which indicates their huge enjoyment of what 
they hear.^ 

ISABELLE 

Please don't get excited. I say — for argument — 
to convince Mildred — I don't see why the mere fact 
of a marriage certificate — Really, / feel that it 
makes our position stronger. Don't you.^* 

MORRIS 

Are you mad? Didn't you burn our marriage cer- 
tificate in Berlin? 

ISABELLE 

Of course, dear. But I suppose there is some rec- 
ord in the German archives. 



44 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Buried! It shall lie buried in that heathen lan- 
guage forever. 

ISABELLE 

Dearest, you forget. It's the language of 
Nietzsche. 

MORRIS 

Don't interrupt. I say that no one — no one must 
ever learn of our marriage. It was a weak and bar- 
barous act. I committed it in a prosaic moment — as 
a concession to you. 

ISABELI.E 

O Maurice ! You know I conceded it for your sake, 
SO as not to complicate your career. 

MORRIS 

My career! Don't you realize I can never have a 
career if this is known .^^ 

ISABELLE 

But, dearest 

MORRIS 

Silence ! Let me tell you this : the moment you ever 
mention our marriage — that moment is the end of our 
love ; that moment is the knell of our joy ; in that mo- 
ment I will repudiate you — deny you and that wretched 
bondage ; from that moment I will continue my career 
alone. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 45 

ISABELLE 

Thirty-seven ! This is the thirty-seventh time we've 
had this argument, and you always win out, my be- 
loved. You are always reasonable and always right. 
So, please forgive me, and give me a kiss. 

MORRIS 

It's terrible. You see how the mere thought of 
matrimony degrades us, and makes us wrangle like 
wretched husbands and wives. 

ISABELLE 

Come, we'll forget it. 

MORRIS 

You promise me — never to refer to it again? 

ISABELLE 

Never, never again — so long as you love me! 

MORRIS 

[Kissing her.'] 
My guiding star! After all, man is the reasoner. 
And now, my own, we will press onward in our cam- 
paign together, shall we? 

ISABELLE 

I will lead you, love — wherever you decide. 



J 



46 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

This, then, is the plan. We will try to capture this 
household, but by a different attack. You will ap- 
proach Elhott, and I will approach Mildred. You 
will emancipate the male and / the female. This plan 
is psychologically correct ; I believe it will succeed. 

ISABELLE 

Just as you wish, dear. I have hopes of Elliott, 
but Mildred — you will find Mildred incorrigibly con- 
ventional. Where are you going? 

MORRIS 

To find them. Come — I cannot quite agree with 
you, my love, in regard to Mildred. I believe that 
Mildred's soul is sufficiently mystical to be saved, and 

I really think 

[Exeunt. The door closes. Bursting into laughter, 
Mildred and Elliott come down the stairs.'\ 

MILDRED 

Aren't they heavenly? 

ELLIOTT 

But we were fiends to listen. 

MILDRED 

Dear unsuspecting cherubs! 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 47 

ELLIOTT 

It's on my conscience. 

MILDRED 

It's not on mine. Married! "O living lie of love !" 
Rev. Elliott Grey, this is the opportunity of our lives. 

ELLIOTT 

What must we do.? 

MILDRED 

Be saved, of course. Be converted. 

ELLIOTT 

Converted .f* 

MILDRED 

To Anti-Matrimony. 

ELLIOTT 

Mrs. Reverend Elliott — you're the limit. Do you 
intend 

MILDRED 

Certainly. I intend to administer some anti-matri- 
monial toxin. These poor babes have got lost in the 
misty continental woods and fetched home the latest 
imported influenza. It's called the tragicus mysticis- 
mus morbiditi. "Mystics," for short. 

ELLIOTT 

My dear, you should hang out a shingle. 



48 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You see, the nice old foreign folks thrive on it ; it's 
just a pleasant after-dinner pinch of snufF to them. 
But when .our young Yankees catch it, it's like a sud- 
den pneumonia to their native humor, which very sel- 
dom survives. So, I say, we must be up and doing 
for these two poor lambs ; we must nurse them back 
to the Yankee fold. 

ELLIOTT 

Very good. How shall we give them the anti-toxin ? 

MILDRED 

Leave that to me. It's a delicate task, and needs 
gradual doses. 

ELLIOTT 

But don't you think we'd better just tell them how 
we overheard 

MILDRED 

O you blunder beetle ! How do you suppose Mor- 
ris would take that.'* 

ELLIOTT 

Like a man. Keep his head, and lump it. 

MILDRED 

The lump, my dear, would be on your manly head. 
I can see Morris lumping it. I can see your dear 
mother watching and hearing him lump it. I can see 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 49 

the whole Grey family, and the families of the Reverend 
Grey's whole parish, listening and louting low to the 
lumping of Morris ! No, goodman Elliott, your grey 
matter doesn't absorb the full fun of our situation. 
It's more serious than you think. 

ELLIOTT 

Than I think? That's a good one! I think it's 
mighty serious — especially for mother. Do you think 
Morris would really do as he said, and deny his mar- 
riage with Isabelle to our faces ? 

MILDRED 

I'm sure of it. They both would. And to get 
proofs of their marriage from Germany would be 
very impracticable. No; we've got to get them to 
own up of themselves. What's more — we've got to 
get them to own up before they start to convert the 
United States. 

ELLIOTT 

I see. We must give their campaign a big send-off 
here at home; is that \t? 

MILDRED 

Precisely. Henceforth, O domestic tyrant, the 
mystic sword of Anti-Matrimony must divide our 
bosoms ! 

ELLIOTT 

Good! Me for "the mystics." 



50 ANTI-MA'rtllMONY 

MILDRED 

You for the Mats, and I for the Antis ! 

ELLIOTT 

By the way, are we to be undomesticated simul- 
taneously, or one at a time? 

MILDRED 

As to that, I must ask you to keep in close touch 
with me. I'll signal when I want trumps. Here they 
come. Now, then; play the game, and remember, 
Divided we stand! 

ELLIOTT 

United we fall ! 

{Enter Morris and Isabelle, at bacAr.] 

MORRIS 
[To ISABELLE.] 

Here they are. Don't forget, you are to capture 
Elliott. Courage, now, for the cause. 

ISABELLE 

My misgivings are all for you, love. 

ELLIOTT 

[To Mildred, who has sunk upon the settee, staring 
ahead of her.~\ 
What's up now,? Are you ill.'^ 



ANTI-MA'TRIMONY 51 

MILDRED 

[^Just audibly/, motioning him away,~\ 
Influenza! Catching! 

ELLIOTT 

Oh! 

[He crosses to the table. In the background, Morris 
— a Napoleon overseeing his campaign — directs 
IsABELLE, who gocs to the bottom step of the 
stairs, gracefully and deliberately unties the boivs 
of her shoe-lacings, then approaches Elliott 
with ingratiating smile. 1 

ISABELLE 

Dear ElHott, will you be so kind as to tie my shoe- 
lace? It's come undone. 

ELLIOTT 

[Momentarily abashed, scrambles to do so.^ 
Charmed ! 
[Morris, meantime, approaching Mildred, starts 
visibly at her altered expression.'^ 

MORRIS 

[Solicitously.'] 
Are you ill, Mildred? May I be of any service to 
you? [Mildred continues to stare ahead of her, as 
in painful reverie.] Good heavens, I'm afraid you 
are. Perhaps it might — I have been thinking 



52 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[/w hollow tone.'\ 
I, too! 

MORRIS 

I beg pardon. 

MILDRED 

\_Slo'wly.~\ 
I, too, have been thinking. \_Intensey she looks up 
at him.^ 

ISABELLE 

[^To Elliott, changing her foot.'\ 
The other, please. 

ELLIOTT 

[^Tying the lace.'\ 
Dehghted! 

MILDRED 

Your words have been ringing through my soul: 
"A lie! A living lie!" 

MORRIS 

IStartled.] 
Mildred ! 

MILDRED 

lRising.'\ 
Maurice! You have come at an awful moment in 
my life. 

MORRIS 

In your life ! 

4= 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 53 

MILDRED 

Will you — will you lead me to the orchard? 
[Compelling him before her by look and gesture, she 
passes toward the outer door, while Isabelle 
slowly turns, watching aghast, and Elliott on 
his knees peeps round her skirts.^ 

MORRIS 

\_Bewildered.'\ 
Lead you to the 

MILDRED 

Out there under the apple-bloom. Teach me, Mau- 
rice ! Teach me the mystic symbol of the bees. 

[Taking the apple sprays from the vase, she pauses 
an instant on the door sill.^ 

ELLIOTT 

[ Open-mouthed. ] 
Well, I'll be 

ISABELLE 
So Willi! 

MILDRED 

"A little commonwealth of natural lovers." 
[Extending one hand to Morris, she buries her face 
in the apple-bloom. They go. Isabelle starts 
to follow. Elliott, still on his knees, holds ab- 
sent-mindedly the shoe-lace he was tying.'] 



54 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[rar%.] 
Leave go ! Leave go ! 
[Mildred and Morris disappear in the orchard.'\ 

CURTAIN. 



ACT II 



ACT II 

Late Afternoon. 

[Mes. Geey stands in the middle of the room Usterir 
ing.l 

MES. GREY 

Who spoke? 

A VOICE 

[After a pause, '\ 
Have the trunks come? 

MRS. GREY 

l^Nervousli/.'] 
Why, I think — would you mind saying where you 
are? 
[Mrs. Grey goes to the door left, opens it and stands 
flustered. Meantime the curtains of the stair 
landing are opened and Isabelle p7its her head 
out.~\ 

isabelle 
[Snappishly.'] 
I should think you could hear. 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, it's you, Isabelle. 

57 



58 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Yes, it's I. Will you please have the trunks sent 
up? 

MRS. GREY 

My dear, they haven't arrived from the steamship 
yet. 

ISABEI.I.E 

How exasperating! Well, then, bring back my 
gown, please. I have nothing else to wear. 

MRS. GREY 

But, my dear 

ISABELLE 

Don't wait to sponge it. 

MRS. GREY 

But, my dear, it isn't being sponged. It's being 
washed. 

ISABELLE 

Washed ! 

MRS. GREY 

Yes ; Mildred said you wanted it put in the tub. 

ISABELLE 

[Shrill^.'] 
Tub! 

\_She disappears.'] 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 59 

MRS. GREY 

\^Going up the stairs.^ 
It may be — perhaps I misunderstood Mildred — she 
told me she would explain later. 

ISABELI.E 

{^Coming out on the landing in a dressing-gown, 
speaks, on the point of tears. 1 
Do you mean to say — Why, it's ruined, then, 
ruined ! In the tub ! 

MRS. GREY 

I thought it rather pecuhar. But of course you 
and Morris are peculiar, my dear. 

ISABELLE 

And I've no other dress with me. 

MRS. GREY 

Don't worry. Mildred has some pretty dresses. 

ISABELLE 

Mildred's — for me ! 

MRS. GREY 

Just come with me to her room. She has laid out 
for you a pretty brown dress. Or perhaps you would 
prefer one of mine. 

ISABELLE 

Yours ? Horrors ! 

\_The2^ disappear along the landing, left.^ 



60 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

[Enter, from out of doors, Morris and Mildred. 
Mildred is dressed in a beautiful flowing gown 
of old rose, and wears apple-hlossoms in her hair, 
which she has arranged in a graceful mediosval 
style, differing from its simple arrangement in 
Act First.^ 

MILDRED 

Please go on. It is fascinating. 

MORRIS 

I haven't actually written the play, you know, but 
perhaps you would like to get some idea of the plot 
and symbolism. 

MILDRED 

Oh, please, yes. What do you call it? 

MORRIS 

The play? Well, I haven't quite decided. I've 
thought of several titles : "Spectres," "The Passionate 
Puritan," "Hosmer's Home ; or, the Love of the Bee." 
Which do you like best? 

MILDRED 

Oh, I think "The Love of the Bee" is most beau- 
tiful. 

[Mildred reclines, with studied cestheticism, on the 
cushions of the settee; Morris stands beside her,~\ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 61 

MORRIS 

Do you? So do I. Well, as I said, the hero, 
Hosmer, is an artist-philosopher; a superman, born 
with all the tragic advantages of genius. He is the 
last of an ancient house, and inherits a noble neu- 
rasthenia and subtle melancholia of character. 

MILDRED 

Neurasthenia, I understand, is the foundation of 
tragedy. 

MORRIS 

Absolutely. Hosmer is highly wrought, and his 
sensitive nature makes him shun all commonplace con- 
flicts with life. His soul, like a silkworm, spins an 
exquisite chrysalis of its own mystic being to shroud 
it from the garish world. But this beautiful filament 
is rudely and suddenly torn by Destiny. He marries 
a wife. 

MILDRED 

I begin to see. 

MORRIS 

You know the type — forgive me for ever having 
associated you with it: — a woman hopelessly whole- 
some, obtusely moral, blindly domestic, hideously fond 
of a joke. 

MILDRED 

I know: the kind with incurably good digestion. 



62 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

That's it. Well, this abnormally healthy woman 
is hung by fate like a mill-stone round the neck of 
Hosmer. Her sunny disposition (as the old school 
used to call it), her red-cheeked laughter, her unshake- 
able nerves — these fail utterly to develop the psychic 
powers of the superman. Slowly but surely he de- 
clines into a happy contentment with her normal view 
of things. Step by step his tragic genius is under- 
mined. At last she even makes him see a flaw in his 
own masterpiece — and she laughs at him. But listen ! 
At that very moment, a single knock resounds on the 
ancestral knocker, and enter — Amorata! 

MILDRED 

Masterly ! 

MORRIS 

That's the curtain of Act First. 

MILDRED 

Amorata, of course, is the superwoman. 

MORRIS 

Yes. She symbolizes the psychic emanation of the 
oversoul, the embodied spirit of Anti-Matrimony. 
She enters palely beautiful, wearing a swarm of bees. 

MILDRED 

A whole swarm! But is that practical.'' 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 63 

MORRIS 

It's symbolical. She wears them in clusters, at 
climaxes. 

MILDRED 

Oh! 

MORRIS 

Amorata, then, enters — superb, erotic, divinely 
pathological. She saves Hosmer at the dramatic in- 
stant, reawakens the artistic vacillation of his will, 
and restores him to perfect self-approval of his mas- 
terpiece. 

MILDRED 

What is his masterpiece? 

MORRIS 

It's — I haven't decided that either. A bell tower, 
I think, or a painting; either some pinnacle that he 
can fall down from, or some portrait that he can hack 
to pieces. My last three acts, you see, are not settled 
yet. We must consult the Masters carefully. 

MILDRED 

It is so kind of you to want me to collaborate. 

MORRIS 

Not at all. 

MILDRED 

Are there any other characters.'* 



/ 



i 

J 



64 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Yes, I have in mind several — a morphine patient, 
an inebriate pastor, a suicidal doctor, a tubercular 
poet, a kleptomaniac and some others. 

MILDRED 

Are none of them — quite well? 

MORRIS 

Only the wife, for contrast. Undiseased persons 

are essentially undramatic. 

MILDRED 

I see. I suppose, then, you must take care not to 
let your characters meet each other, for fear of in- 
fection. 

MORRIS 

Not at all. My characters have only those highly 
artistic diseases adapted to modern technique. What 
puzzles me, however, is how to bring them all to the 
mill-race. 

MILDRED 

The mill-race ; what's that ? 

MORRIS 

That's the final catastrophe. It's the water, you 
know, that leads to the mill-wheel. My chief charac- 
ters, of course, must all be drowned there. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 65 

MILDRED 

By accident? 

MORRIS 

No, indeed ; by inheritance. Inheritance is the mod- 
ern form of fate, you know. But the minor persons 
still puzzle me. Which do you prefer — death by 
paranoeic insanity, or pistol shot.^ 

MILDRED 

Oh, pistol shot, please ! Of all thrilling effects, I 
think, a pistol shot — off the scene, just before the 
curtain falls — is the most delightful. 

MORRIS 

You are extremely helpful, Mildred. I don't re- 
member that Isabelle ever gave me such illuminating 
criticisms. 

MILDRED 

Why, Isabelle is just a little immature, don't you 
think? I mean — to appreciate fully your problems 
as a dramatist. 

MORRIS 

I have often thought that. 

MILDRED 

After all, she is only nineteen. And there is an 
impassable gulf between the teens and the twenties, 
isn't there? 



y 



66 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

There's a lot to what you say. 

MILDRED 

I was thinking just now — It's such a beautiful co- 
incidence. 

MORRIS 



What.? 

Oh, nothing. 
Please tell me ! 



MILDRED 

\_Dreamily.'\ 

MORRIS 



MILDRED 

Well, I was just thinking how mystical it is that 
you and I — of all this household — are the only ones 
in our twenties. 

MORRIS 

By Jove ! That's so. 

MILDRED 

ElHott is thirty-one. 

MORRIS 

So he is. 

MILDRED 

Ah! There is so much in the subtle affiliations of 
time. 

MORRIS 

Affiliations of time! Mildred, you're wonderful. 
You seem to have developed since this morning. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 67 

MILDRED 

Thanks to you — my master! 

MORRIS 

I always suspected that underneath your cold New 
England restraint there lurked a bright naiad of the 
beautiful old world. 

MILDRED 

A nix in the home mill-pond, you mean? Yes, but 
it needed a mystical fisher like yourself to lure the 
naiad to the surface, and reveal to her visions of the 
sunset and the stars. But now you mustn't stop ; you 
must teach me your whole secret — how I may free my 
soul completel}^ from this narrow world that has sealed 
my eyes so long. 

MORRIS 

Be exceptional, Mildred; dare to be different — at 
all costs. 

MILDRED 

[Pensively.'] 
Dare to be different. 

MORRIS 

Deny the gross dictates of society, the tyranny of 
others. 

MILDRED 

[Murmurs.'] 
The tyranny of husbands. 



68 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Realize yourself. Be an individual — free, self- 
poised, unique. 

MILDRED 

O, Maurice, I see it all now; the beauty of being 
unique. I have never realized before how exceptional, 
how beautiful I am. I have been blinded — by Elliott. 
He has forced me to lead a life which has taught me 
to forget the very aim of existence — my own soul, 
myself. 

MORRIS 

Do you know why? It's because he has made you 
the victim of his own dark inheritance: — he has al- 
lowed himself and you to be guided by ghosts. 

MILDRED 

Ghosts ! You are right. You have shown me this 
home of mine for what it really is — a charnel house, 
in which my soul sits mated to a spectre. I see it 
now. This hearthstone — it was here he led me home — 
his living bride. This haunted house — what is it but 
the hollow chamber of a skull, musty with dead creeds, 
every window a staring, vacant eye, every gable a 
Puritan's peaked hat ? Oh, forgive me this outburst ! 
But do you wonder that the mere thought of Elliott 
awakens in me feelings — impossible to express ! 

MORRIS 

Mildred^ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 69 

MILDRED 

You have turned a searchlight into my soul and 
shown me my own hopelessness. 

MORRIS 

No, Mildred, not hopelessness, but hope; the hope 
of anti-matrimony. Think of all that holds out to 
you — uniqueness, tragedy, scorn of the common world ! 
All, all are yours, if you only dare. 

MILDRED 

Oh, Maurice, may I indeed lay my soul bare to you, 
without shame or fear of rebuke .^^ 

MORRIS 

How can you ask.'' Of course; confide in me. 

MILDRED 

No, I'm afraid; not till you promise you will for- 
give me when you have heard all. 

MORRIS 

But how can I, Mildred, before I know all.? 

MILDRED 

[Rushing away.'] 
Good-by ! Good-by ! 

MORRIS 

Mildred, come back. I promise — whatever it is. 



70 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Whatever it is — you'll forgive? 

MORRIS 

I promise. 

MILDRED 

{^Returning sIowIt^.^ 

That gives me courage. You ought never to have 
come. You ought never to have awakened my soul. 

MORRIS 

Don't say that. I am proud of that. Tell me all 
— everything. 

MILDRED 

I have deceived you, Maurice. 

MORRIS 

Deceived me — you! 

MILDRED 

I am deceiving you now. 

MORRIS 

Mildred! How is it possible.? 

MILDRED 

Listen ! I shall continue to deceive you, unless — 
unless you should guess. Look in my eyes. Do you 
guess.? Do you guess.? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 71 

MORRIS 

You don't mean that I — that you 



MILDRED 

Wait. Hear me. I will confess all. I am a wife 
— twenty-seven — married five years. Until yesterday 
I thought myself happy, truthful, innocent. Yester- 
day you arrived from Europe. Almost the first word 
from your lips, — that daring, scornful, truthful 
avowal of your relations with Isabelle — ah, it was elec- 
tric ! It filled me with a new and dangerous delight. It 
revolutionized my home and hearth. Oh, at first, of 
course, I pretended to be shocked. I even gave you 
foolish domestic advice — asked you to marry Isabelle, 
you remember. 

MORRIS 

Don't, Mildred ! Don't imagine I hold that against 
you now. 

MILDRED 

I don't; it's not that. \^Sitting at the table.l It's 
— it's — ^liow shall I confess it? After you left me 
alone in the orchard — I went and sat me down by the 
mill-pond, thinking — thinking wildly. Your voice was 
still in my ears, and the music of anti-matrimony ! 
Then I gazed in the dark waters and beheld there — 
can you guess? 



12 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Your image. 

MILDRED 

The image of a dissembling wife, a deceiving sister, 
a hypocritical friend. Now, now do you guess.? 

MORRIS 

You bewilder me, Mildred. 

MILDRED 

\_Rising.'\ 
In pity's name, do not say that you — my deliverer 
— fail to understand! 

MORRIS 

No, no. I understand perfectly of course. But 

MILDRED 

Surely you, of all men, can read my mystic 
thoughts and sympathize. 

MORRIS 

My poor girl! I begin to see. 

MILDRED 

I knew you would, 

MORRIS 

Since yesterday — only yesterday! In less than 
twenty-four hours ! 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 7^ 

MIIiBUED 

A moment may be an immortality. 

MORRIS 

And it came like that? 

MILDRED 

\_Murmurs.'] 
Just like that. 

MORRIS 

In the very moment, you say, when I first spoke 
to you? 

MILDRED 

\_Eccaltedl2/.~\ 
In your mouth were the thunders of emancipation, 
and on your lips the lightnings of deliverance. 

MORRIS 

It's all so sudden — so splendidly tragic. Desperate 
child, what are you to do? 

MILDRED 

Do you ask me that ? — you ! 

MORRIS 

I mean, how are you going to announce it? 

MILDRED 

Announce it ! Is it not enough that you know that 
I know — that we alone know? 



74 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

[With abrupt decision.^ 
No, Mildred, the announcement of this tragic case 
will strengthen my campaign. The declaration of 
your secret passion for me will help to rally others 
to my banner. You must declare it. 

MILDRED 

But my husband — your own brother; Isabelle — my 
sister. Such relationships ! What will the world say ? 

MORRIS 

/ My child, it is glorious ! The relationships are 

xj classic; the tragic conflict is perfect. And the world 

— the world will revile us ! 

MILDRED 

\_SinMng on the settee. ~\ 
Ah, but you are a man and brave. I am weak and 
a woman. 

MORRIS 

Not now ! Now you are neither weak, nor a woman 
— you are an Anti-Mat. 

MILDRED 

I know, Maurice. But consider how long I have 
lived the life of a Mat — abject, trodden underfoot. 
You can't expect me to rise all alone on my own 
hearthstone and be spurned by the foot of my op- 
pressor. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 75 

MORRIS 

Alone! Of course not. Where you rise, a whole 
army of Anti-Mats will flock to our standard. 
[Elliott appears outside, quietly passing. '\ 

MILDRED 

[Crying out and pointing.^ 
Ah ! There he is. 

[Elliott precipitately disappears.'] 

MORRIS 

Who.? 

MILDRED 

Elliott. There in the orchard. What if he should 
see us ! 

MORRIS 

Let him come. 

MILDRED 

No, no. Pm afraid. Consider; he is my husband. 
And you — you know what you are to me. Have pity. 

MORRIS 

Poor, infatuated child! Why do you seek refuge 
in cowardice.? 

MILDRED 

The spirit of Anti-Matrimony forsakes me. I need 
time — wisdom. 



76 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Remember what Zarathustra, the master, has said: 
"Be brave, indifferent, scornful, violent — thus wis- 
dom would have us to be." Be violent, Mildred! 
This is your tragic moment. Be true to the Masters. 

MILDRED 

You are right. I need violence. [Rising, speaks 
with increasing ^^ violence. ^^1 Go — ^bring them. I 
will be true to them. 

MORRIS 

Bring them.'* 

MILDRED 

The Masters. Upstairs. Go. Bring down the 
dress-suit case. Bring me the Masters, Maurice. 

MORRIS 

[Hastening up the stairs.^ 
Mildred!— I will. 

[jNIorris disappears from the landing. Mildred sinJcs 
upon the settee cushions in muffled laughter. En- 
ter at hack, Elliott.] 

ELLIOTT 

[In a low voice, saluting with his right hand.^ 
Orders, Captain.? How's the wind.'^ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 77 

MILDRED 

[Catching her breath,'] 
East-nor-west due southerly. 

ELLIOTT 

Are those your sailing instructions? 

MILDRED 

Yes, sir. I now am headed, full sail, for the Eman- 
cipation Isles, and you, mate, are bound for the Haven 
of Home and the Straits of Separation. 

ELLIOTT 

But I thought you had me in tow. 

MILDRED 

No, sir, you're cut loose. So remember; whenever 
the Morris is in sight, you must fly matrimonial col- 
ors and steer port, and whenever you spy the Isabelle, 
you must fly the Anti-Mat flag and run starboard. 

ELLIOTT 

And what if I sight them both at once.? 

MILDRED 

Why, then, steer both ways at once and send up a 
signal of distress. 



78 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Hold on, my dear ! Do you expect a mere minister 
of the gospel to be j'^our co-star in this advanced 
vaudeville ? 

MILDRED 

I do, old stupid. Don't you see ? To Isabelle you're 
an Anti, and to Morris and me you're a Mat. 

ELLIOTT 

Kind of a reversible Persian rug. Is that it? 

MILDRED 

Exactly. Topside up, you're the perfect pattern 
of a husband; upside down, you're a mystical lover. 

ELLIOTT 

How about wrong side out? 

[EnteVy left, Isabelle. She wears a shrunken, faded, 
hrown dress, axvhwardly misfiUing and unbecom- 
ing. This contrasts absurdly with the extra 
pains she has bestowed upon the towering, com- 
plicated architecture of her hair. Seeing El- 
liott and Mildred, she hesitates, embarrassed 
and woeful. Elliott, facing the other way, 
does not see her. Mildred, instantly altering her 
voice to one of pained accusation, continues to 
speak to Elliott, who stares at her in fresh be- 
wilderment.^ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 79 

MILDRED 

No, Elliott! After five years of married life to- 
gether — five years, in which I have sacrificed my soul 
to your narrow interests — after five long years, I think 
I have the right to expect of you • 

ELLIOTT 

What the devil 

MILDRED 

\_With horrified tone.'\ 
Please ! — don't give way to one of your outbursts 
of profanity. Remember you are a minister. 

ELLIOTT 

Ministers get their livelihood from the devil, my V 
dear. It's only Christian to allude to him. 

[Above, on the landing, enters Morris, carrying a 
dress-suit case. He pauses to look down; then 
listens intently. Meantime, Isabelle — who does 
not see him — manifests also an eager detective 
interest in the conversation.^ 

MILDRED 

Oh, don't, don't ! Don't make me a partner in this 
hypocrisy. 

ELLIOTT 

Hypocrisy ! 



80 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You wear one face toward the world, and another 
in your home. For five years I have wasted my youth, 
I have repressed my personaHty, I have concealed my 
art — and all for this ! 

ELLIOTT 

Do you mean to accuse me of 



MILDRED 

Oh, I don't accuse you. I may be wrong. Heaven 
grant that I am. I only say that when I see this sud- 
den infatuation 

ELLIOTT 

Infat 

MILDRED 

Before my very eyes, I cannot be silent. I will only 
ask why you should have chosen that dress of all 
others! [Elliott turns and discovers Isabelle.] I 
will only remind you how you once said you loved that 
dress for my sake. You gave me that dress on my 
wedding anniversary, and now — and now 

ISABELLE 

\_Coming forward wildly. '\ 
You know why I wear it. You know! 

MILDRED 

And now she confesses ! Yes, Isabelle, I know in- 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 81 

deed why you wear it. I know, yet I will not accuse 
you either. O my husband — my sister! Heaven be 
just to us all. 

[She rushes out, right. 1 

ISABELIiE 

[Calling after her.~\ 
The trunks — you know — I've got nothing else 

MORRIS 

[Hurrying down the stairs with the dress-suit case.^ 
Mildred ! 

ISABELLE 

[Trz/ing to conceal her dress by standing behind the 
settee. 1 
Maurice ! Did you overhear her ? 

MORRIS 

[Stopping and looking severely from Isabelle to 
Elliott.] 

Yes. 

ELLIOTT 

[To himself .'\ 
Starboard — port ! 

MORRIS 

I overheard all — all! 



8^ ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

I — I haven't seen anything of you for hours. 
[Suddenly seeing the dress-suit case, steps forward 
with a cry.^ 
Oh! — Where are you taking that? 

MORRIS 

Why are you wearing that? 

ISABELLE 

[Tearfully.'] 
Mine's in the tub. 

MORRIS 

In the tub! 

ISABELLE 

The trunks — ^You're not taking that to her? 

MORRIS 

Why did you put it in? 

ISABELLE 

I didn't — the Masters — the Masters are in it. 

MORRIS 

In the tub? 

ISABELLE 

No, in the suit-case, I said. Don't prevaricate, 
Maurice. The Masters are in there. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Perhaps if I might arbitrate this 



MORRIS 

[To Elliott.] 
You ! You that for five years— ha ! This gown, I 
understand, is a favorite of yours. Do you deny it.? 

ELLIOTT 

Dear me, no! I own to a very ancient par- 
tiahty 

ISABELLE 

Won't you answer me.? Are you taking this to 
Mildred.? 

MORRIS 

Certainly. She is developing wonderfully. Her 
open-mindedness is magnificent. I have every hope 
of making her an Anti. I only wish that I could ac- 
count for this astonishing change in you, Isabelle. 

ISABELLE 

[Moving- farther from Elliott.] 
Oh, Maurice! Don't you understand.? Don't let him 
hear. 

MORRIS 

[Glancing back at Elliott.] 
Him.? Oh, I see. You mean you wear this to con- 
vert him to our campaign.? His favorite gown. 
Clever girl ! 



84 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Dolefully.'\ 
oil, no, no! 

MOimis 

[Sternly. '\ 
What, then, do you mean? 

ISABELI.E 

I mean the Masters — my favorite passages — ^they're 
underlined. You mustn't let her see them. 

MORRIS 

Isabelle, you are utterly transformed. I will not 
ask your secret motive in selecting this gown ; I leave 
that to your conscience. I cannot discuss it further. 
[Going outy at right y with the suit-case.^ 

Mildred ! 

ISABELI.E 

Maurice ! — Stop him — What shall I do ? 

ELLIOTT 

My dear Isabelle, it has appealed to me strangely 
for years. I remember originally the stuff was a 
bargain. 

ISABELLE 

Don't allude to it. 

ELLIOTT 

Certainly not. I only mean that I appreciate your 
thought of me in wearing it. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 85 

ISABELLE 

I never thought of you. \_Looking after Morris.] 
Oh, it's beyond words ! 

ELLIOTT 

[^Looking her over.^ 
Yes ; I think it is. 

ISABELLE 

But I won't stand it. If I am to be falsely sus- 
pected, insulted — I'll have my revenge. 

ELLIOTT 

You were kind enough, my dear, to say that you 
would instruct me in the principles of Anti-Matri- 
mony. 

ISABELLE 

Did 1? I beheve I did. 

ELLIOTT 

I can promise you shall find me an attentive dis- 
ciple. Will you begin — now? 

ISABELLE 

No, please. We'll postpone that. I should like, 
instead, to — to ask you a favor. 

ELLIOTT 

Dehghted! As a Mat or an Ailti? 



^ 



86 ANTI-MATRIMONY j 

ISABELLE 

Oh, neither. I should just like to ask if you would 
mind being — well, pleasant. 

ELLIOTT i 

Oh! Pleasant! I 

1 

ISABELLE ] 

To me, you know. I mean as pleasant as you know 
how — whenever Maurice is around. 



ELLIOTT ( 

Attentive, you mean.? i 

i 

ISABELLE 3 

Attentive — without intention. You understand. 



ELLIOTT 

Unintentionally attentive. 

ISABELLE 

No, no, I mean — will you please be particularly 
pleasant, without being painful.'' 

ELLIOTT 

My dear Isabelle, that has been the unattainable 
dream of my life. 

ISABELLE 

You mean you can't be pleasant to me.^^ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 87 

ELLIOTT 

Moderately, my dear. I will be moderately pleas- 
ant to the point of passion. But I know that I shall 
fall short of being particularly pleasant without 
pain. 

ISABELLE 

Well, that will do nicely. Thank you. 
\^She starts to go.^ 

ELLIOTT 

Won't you wait, and let me moderately please you.'' 

ISABELLE 

Oh, it's of no importance now. Only just the mo- 
ment Maurice and Mildred are near us — then begin. 

ELLIOTT 

Hadn't I better stay with you, then.? 

ISABELLE 

Perhaps you had. Suppose you read aloud to me 
in the orchard. 

ELLIOTT 

Delighted. Some of my own books? 

ISABELLE 

Yes, that will be just the thing. 

{^He goes to the book-shelves and selects some vol- 
umes. 1 



88 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

These, now, I feel sure will please you — moder- 
ately. 

ISABELLE 

How nice of you. What are they? 

ELLIOTT 

Here, my dear, take your choice : "The Sermons of 
Theodore Parker," "The Life of Channing," "Essays 
on Irrigation and Social Ethics," "Self-Help versus 
Humanitarianism," "Sociological Investigations in 
the Slum Districts of " 

[They disappear in the orchard. After a moment , 
enter from the right Morris and Mildred.] 

MORRIS 

If I have been able to help you 



MILDRED 

Help me? You have created me anew. You found 
me a matrimonial atom, lost in the collective mass of 
a myriad wives; and you have made me an indi- 
vidual. 

MORRIS 

You have been so responsive, Mildred. 

MILDRED 

Oh, to be at last an individual — singular — excep- 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 89 

tional — solely myself! To know that the centuries 
and the civilizations have existed merely for this: to 
evolve me — mystic, immeasurable me! 

MORRIS 

Now you speak like a true artist. 

MILDRED 

An artist ! Ah, that reminds me. I have never 
told you, have I.? 

MORRIS 

What.? 

MILDRED 

What I really am. Oh, you will encourage me, 
won't you.? You will help me to be — what I really 
am.? 

MORRIS 

I am proud to help you. 

MILDRED 

Maurice, I really am 

MORRIS 

What, Mildred.? 

MILDRED 

A danseuse. All my life I have concealed it. Only 
occasionally, at picnics and birthday parties, I have 
given way to the divine instinct, and dazzled my be- 
wildered partner In the two-step. At all other times 
my Imprisoned genius has struggled like a captive 



90 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

fawn for freedom. But what hope has an artist with 
a husband and a home ! 

MORRIS 

I know. 

MILDRED 

Matrimony and the fine arts are mutually exclusive. 
What could I do ? I simply sacrificed Terpsychore on 
the altar of Elliott. 

MORRIS 

But not now, Mildred. Never ^again. 

MILDRED 

\_Going to the phonograph and winding it."] 
No, not now. For you have taught me to realize 
myself. Henceforward I will be me — Mildred, the 
danseuse. Listen! Do you know those strains.? 

MORRIS 

"The Merry Widow." 

MILDRED 

Will you waltz with me? 

MORRIS 

Now.? Here.? 

MILDRED 

Here and now. You have struck off the last of my 
shackles. Let me revel in my emancipation. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 91 

MORRIS 

Mildred, you are superb. 

MILDRED 

Dance ! 
\_To the strains of the phonograph they waltz to- 
gether. As they do so, Isabelle and Elliott 
reappear from the orchard, Isabelle hastening 
ahead, Elliott following with an open hook in 
his hands.'] 

ISABELLE 

[On the threshold, dropping the other volumes from 
her arms.] 
I was sure of it. It's they ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Reading aloud.] 
"As far as we are able to determine the sociological 
aspects " 

ISABELLE 

Stop it ; begin : be pleasant. 

ELLIOTT 

[Cheerfully.] 
How delightfully they waltz ! 

ISABELLE 

No, no; to me — to me. 

[Enter, left, Mrs. Grey.] 



92 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS. GREY 

My dears! The phonograph — It will wake the 
baby. 
[Mildred and Morris, heedless, continue to dance. '\ 

ISABELIiE 

They're perfectly shameless — Mildred! 

ELLIOTT 

Morris 1 I wish to expostulate 



MRS. GREY 

Children — the dust — the baby ' 

ISABELLE 

{^With flashing eyes, shuts off the phonograph.'] 
Mildred, what does this mean — this amazing be- 
havior.? 

ELLIOTT 

Yes, my love, this extraordinary change? 

MILDRED 

[Pausing.] 
Mean, my friends? It means I am no longer a 
Mat. 

MRS. GREY 

She is ill. 

MILDRED 

This is the moment of my emancipation. The 
chains of my Puritan ancestors fall from me. Yet 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 93 

still I hesitate. One doubt alone keeps me from claim- 
ing the fulness of my freedom. 

MORRIS 

A doubt, Mildred? 

MILDRED 

[With piercing scrutiny.'] 
Answer me. Is there no bond of convention be- 
tween you and that woman? None? 

MORRIS 

[Ignoring a gesture of supplication from Isabelle.] 
N-none whatever. 

MILDRED 
[To ISABELLE.] 

And you, O woman: Is there no legal tie between 
you and this man? 

ISABELLE 

[Transfixed by the eyes of Morris.] 
Of — of course not. 

[Turning to Elliott.] 
For heaven's sake, be pleasant! 

MILDRED 

Then I hesitate no more. I declare myself. Sis- 
ter, husband, mother — good-by! You are ghosts, 
ghosts — all! Into the living commonwealth of free 
lovers, I elect mvself. 



94 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS. GREY 

It's turned her head — Elliott ! 

MILDRED 

Maurice — you that have delivered me out of the 
bondage of matrimony, you that have mystically 
shown me the tragic spirit, you that have made me a 
superwoman — see! At last I dare: I love you; 
dance with me again. 

\^At a sign fj'om her, Elliott has touched the lever 
of the 'phonograph, which resumes "The Merry 
Widow. '^^^ 

ISABELLE 

[Crying out, as Morris goes toward Mildred.] 
Maurice ! 

[Morris pauses.^ 



Morris ! 



Morris ! 



MRS. GREY 

[Aghast.'\ 

ELLIOTT 

[Stentorian.'\ 

MILDRED 

[Holding out her arms.'] 



Maurice ! 

[Morris waltzes with Mildred.] 

CURTAIN. 



ACT III 



\ 



ACT III 

[Night: The room is lighted hy lamps and the 
glow from a wood ftre in the fireplace. Mildred 
and Elliott are discovered, and for some mo- 
ments nothing is said. Mildred is seated on the 
rug before the fire; Elliott stands by the desk. 
Mildred is dressed in a splendid black gown, 
with train, low neck and short sleeves; she wears 
one flaming red rose and her hair is arranged 
with striking tragedy^ueen effectiveness. At the 
moment of discovery she is seated upon her long 
train, bending over the open dress-suit case, in 
and about which are piled sundry volumes, some 
open, others closed, with bookmarks. These vol- 
umes she is putting back in the suit-case; as she 
does so, she scans the marked pages hastily, and 
makes memoranda with a pencil upon a large pad 
in her lap. Meantime, at the desk, Elliott is 
solemnly engaged in loading two pistols. From 
a small tin box he lifts cartridges and inserts 
them gingerly, one by one, making various aims 
and passes with each pistol, fixing his attention 
— with muttered ejaculations — wpon a central 
spot in the rug.~\ 

97 



98 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[As lie begins to load the second pistol.^ 
Two? 

MILDRED 

[^Loohing up.'\ 
Both. 

ELLIOTT 

Is there need of more than one? 

MILDRED 

Positively. It's in my notes. Here — [turning to 
her pad~\ — here it is: [Reads.'] "The agents of ruin 
are a brace of old cavalry pistols, cunningly pre- 
pared." A brace : plural. You see. 

ELLIOTT 

Right you are! "Cunningly prepared." It's not 
for me to dispute the Masters. 

[Both continue their occupations, until Mildred has 
put all the hooks into the dress-suit case.] 



Dearie. 
Hello ! 
Help me up. 



MILDRED 



ELLIOTT 



MILDRED 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 99 

ELLIOTT 

{^Assisting her to rise, kisses her.^ 
How gorgeous we are! * 

MILDRED 

^Returning his caress.'] 
Aren't we? 

ELLIOTT 

Where did yoa hire the dressmaker? 

MILDRED 

In the attic. 

ELLIOTT 

The attic ! 

MILDRED 

In the charade-chest. There's more wonders yet. 

Wait till the climax. 

ELLIOTT 

I thought that came this afternoon with the waltz. 

MILDRED 

Not a bit. That didn't explode the catastrophe. 
I've been boiling 'em down. 

ELLIOTT 

Boiling what down? 

MILDRED 

The catastrophes. Here. [She hands him the pad.'\ 



100 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

[Reads from it, while Mildred examines the pistols. 1 
"Suicide: pistols, coal-gas, drowning (mill-race 
preferred). Desertion, divorce, insanity, general dis- 
integration, cataleptic hysteria " 

MILDRED 

Don't bother to read them all. Morris has chosen 
the best of 'em. Here ! 

ELLIOTT 

[Taking from her a manuscript.'] 
What's this.? 

MILDRED 

The scenario of Morris's play: "Hosmer's Home, 
or The Love of the Bee." He's selected the mill- 
race, and, on the whole, I believe that's the best. 

ELLIOTT 

Do you really know what you're talking about .^^ 

MILDRED 

Yes, nice old partner; but you don't! Anyway, 
you're a sweet, patient old thing to help me give this 
little vaudeville lesson to the young folks. I appre- 
ciate it awfully, and I promise to help you with a lot 
of parish business before midnight. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 101 

ELLIOTT 

Well, my dear, there really is a lot of community 
work waiting for me. There's the tenement commis- 
sion, and the swampland reclamation 

MILDRED 

All in good time ! We've got to reclaim the fam- 
ily first. You and I now are a commission of non- 
sense to restore common sense to two little numbskulls. 
Isabelle must learn to mind the baby, and Morris, you 
know, must learn to say "Shucks !" again. 

ELLIOTT 

Capital! Only please inform me how all this 
hodge-podge of pistols and "Hosmer's Home " 

MILDRED 

Of course. I'll teach you the plot — cues and 
aU. 

ELLIOTT 

That's some comfort. 

MILDRED 

You know, dear, you always were good at Dumb 
Crambo and Christmas charades ; so you'll learn. It's 
like this : When you hear me calling outside, "Hos- 
mer '."—like that— "Hosmer !" 

\_Enter, left, Mrs. Grey.] 
Heavens ! here's mother. Go to my room. I'll come 
in a few minutes and rehearse it with you. 



102 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Rehearse it? 

MILDRED 

Here, take my pad and study. 

MRS. GREY 

Elliott ! 

ELLIOTT 

[With repression, looking toward Mildred for 
order s.~\ 
Good-evening, mother. 

MILDRED 

[To Elliott, sternly.'] 
Go, go ! 
[Elliott retires solemnly toward the outer door.] 

MRS. GREY 

[Wringing her hands.] 

Mildred! You're not parting with Elhott for- 
ever? 

MILDRED 

Naughty motherkin ! Now you're playing truant. 
You know I told you to stay quietly in your room till 
to-morrow morning; then I'll explain everything to 
3^ou — very slowly. 

MRS. GREY 

1 know you always do explain, Mildred. But this 
time I was afraid — I'm afraid — you're too ill to ex- 
plain. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY lOB 

MILDRED 

[Smiling.'] 
Do I look it? 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, yes, my child. I have never seen you look like 
this before. And this afternoon — your clothes, your 
behavior, your — ^your unusual words to Elliott. You 
know, I have heard — yes, I have heard, that when 
people act like that — when they dance and dress and 
— and behave like that — it's hysterics ! 

MILDRED 

Fiddle, my dear! It's not hysterics — it's just 
charades. 

MRS. GREY 

Charades ! I never thought of charades. 

MILDRED 

Don't you remember this gown in the attic chest .^ 

MRS. GREY 

Yes, but — yes, but then, my dear — if it's — if it's 
charades, where's the curtain, and who — who looks on 
and does the guessing.'^ 

MILDRED 

You, dear, of course; haven't you been guessing .-^ 

MRS. GREY 

Why — ^why, yes. But not — not a word. You 
never told me how many syllables to guess, or 



104 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Elliott will tell you all about it. Run along with 
him. And whatever happens, don't worry ; just guess. 

ELLIOTT 

Come on, Mammy. 

MILDRED 

And remember! You're not to go near Isabelle, or 
the baby, on any account. 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, Elliott, I'm still afraid she is ill. 
^Exeunt INIrs. Grey and Elliott, left. Mildred 
goes to the desk, where she puts the pistols in a 
leathern case, and closes it. Enter, at hack, 
Morris.] 

morris 
Ah! 

Hosmer I 
Amorata I 

MILDRED 

How natural it seems to be called by that name! 
Since you have made me — what I really am, I feel as 
if I were a part of your masterpiece. 



MILDRED 



MORRIS 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 105 

MORRIS 

So you are. Art which is not experienced is worth- 
less. Every true dramatist lives his play. Amorata, 
you are divine ! 

MILDRED 

You like me in this.? It expresses, I think, the ^j 
tragic spirit. 

MORRIS 

Superbly! She must dress like that in the third 
act. 

MILDRED 

She ? You mean, I ! You will let me act Amorata 
— won't you? — when she's finished.'^ 

MORRIS 

Oh, if you would, Mild — I mean, Amorata ! 

MILDRED 

You know it requires a danseuse, for she must 
dance the Tarantella. 

MORRIS 

Yes, like Nora. I thought that would be striking ; 
don't you.'^ 

MILDRED 

Oh, of all things — yes ! You can see the sugges- 
tions I've made in your scenario — on the margin. I've 
been through the whole suit-case. 



106 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Have jou? Well, and what do you think? 

MILDRED 

My Hosmer, I think you have outdone the Masters. 

MORRIS 

l^With visible pleasure.^ 
I hope you're not flattering. I value your critical 
opinion more than any one's. 

MILDRED 

Even than — Isabelle's? 

MORRIS 

Isabelle was never truly critical. Besides, she has 
strangely altered. I don't understand it. 

MILDRED 

INa'ively.l 
I wonder if / am to blame. 

MORRIS 

You.? How.? 

MILDRED 

Perhaps — somehow I feel — she does not quite ap- 
prove of my outspoken attitude toward you. 

MORRIS 

Do you mean she has expressed her disapproval? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 107 

MILDRED 

Oh, not directly. But I am afraid she misjudges 
me, Hosmer. I'm afraid she considers my artlessness 
artful, and my innocent boldness immodest. Indeed, 
I hate to beheve it, but I fear that her soul is con- 
ventional. 

MORRIS 

I'm afraid so, too. I have feared it for some time. 
Oh, it's terrible ! 

MILDRED 

But why, Hosmer? Why to ijou^ Her narrow 
ideas can never affect your freedom. 

MORRIS 

You do not know. 

MILDRED 

Fortunately, you do not stand in the awful shadow 
of a wife, as I do of a husband. 

MORRIS 

\]^ ewously .'\ 
A wife ! Amorata, do not speak of this again. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer, you alarm me. You look haggard— ill— 

MORRIS 

Oh, it is nothing. Only, if sometimes you detect in 
me a brooding melancholy, or a sudden wildness, you 



108 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

must forgive me, but never ask its cause. It's only 
the fingers of old ghosts upon me. 

MILDRED 

But you — I thought you had escaped them — defied 
them ^ 

MORIIIS 

Who can escape from the haunting sins of his 
past? After all, I could never have the tragic spirit 
otherwise. A past is the birthright of every true 
artist. 

MILDRED 

You are right. I, too, have a secret which is heavy 
to keep. 

MORRIS 

But I guessed it: your passion for me. 

MILDRED 

It is even deeper than that. 

MORRIS 

Deeper ! But, then, you will tell it to me ! [Enter 
IsABELLE. He is obout to seize Mildred's hand.^ 
Amorata, I beg 

MILDRED 

Hush ! The shadow of destiny falls on us ! 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 109 

ISABELLE 

lTh€ once proud architecture of her hair is now in 
ruins, and in one hand she holds an apron, which 
she has just removed from her borrowed misfit 
gown. In a choking voice she speaks to Mil- 
dred.] 
Hypocrite ! 

MILDRED 

Farewell! [She ascends the stairs to the landing.'\ 
Farewell! I leave you — together. 

ISABELLE 

stop! [E^iOIiLDRED.] Comeback! Oh, it's not 
fair. She always runs away. She doesn't dare to 
face me. 

MORRIS 

It seems to me she has shown more courage than 
you. 

ISABELLE 

Courage ! She has shown the courage of a brazen 
adventuress. She has left me helpless and alone. She 
has dismissed both the maids for a holiday, and your 
mother's nowhere to be found, and I've had to mind 
the baby, all by myself, for hours. 



MORRIS 

If you will give way to such domestic instincts- 



110 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Could I let it choke with screaming? Courage! I 
tell you, Maurice, / have shown courage, while my 
heartless sister has stolen the gown from my back, and 
the hair from my head, and the husband 

MORRIS 

Stop ! Don't speak that word. 

ISABELLE 

And all the while pluming herself hke a bird-of- 
paradise to bamboozle you. 

MORRIS 

Bamboozle me. Ha! 

ISABELLE 

Yes, bamboozle you. O Maurice, how easily you 
have been deceived by an artful woman ! 

MORRIS 

[Darlhj.] 
I am beginning to think so, Isabelle. 

ISABELI.E 

Thank heaven, then, your eyes are opening at last. 

MORRIS 

Thank heaven. Indeed — even though it's heart- 
breaking. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 111 

ISABELLE 

Heart-breaking! So it's gone as far as that? 

MORRIS 

Almost, Isabelle. But I shan't let it go any far- 
ther, now that you have made me to see through you. 

ISABELLE 

Through me! Through Mildred, you mean. 

MORRIS 

No, you. Ever since that hour in Vienna, when the 
maid-servant left, and you cried to go home to Amer- 
ica, I have suspected it — dreaded it. Now you have 
convinced me. In your heart of hearts, you are not 
an Anti — you are a Mat! 

ISABELLE 

How can you say such a dreadful thing! 

MORRIS 

I will prove it. Answer me this: Are you not 
jealous of Mildred.'' 

ISABELLE 

Jealous ? 

MORRIS 

Of her devotion to me? 

ISABELLE 

[Tearfully.'] 
Yes, Maurice. I am. I own I am. 



112 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

Listen to that ! Where now is jour consecration to 
our campaign? — to free love? to my career? to the 
works of the Masters? Have you forgotten my play 
— my mystic symbol, "The Love of the Bee"? This 
very morning you called it beautiful. 

ISABELLE 

Indeed, but it is ! 

MORRIS 

I brought you apple-blossoms. Now they are faded. 
So be it. Yet the symbol still blooms on, and I am 
the Bee. 

ISABELLE 

Oh, no, Maurice. I never understood it so. / am 
the Bee. 

MORRIS 

You — you! 

ISABELLE 

Oh, yes. I always was the Bee. 

MORRIS 

Good God! Did you take me for an apple-blos- 
som ? And you have pretended to be a mystic ! 

ISABELLE 

I am; I am a mystic. 

MORRIS 

Why, you've got the symbolism all mixed up. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 113 

ISABELLE 

I don't care. Mystic things always are mixed. 
How else could they be beautiful? 

MORRIS 

Don't try to argue, Isabelle. You are incapable of 
it. Remember, you are only nineteen, and your im- 
mature mind shows in sad contrast with your sister's 
extraordinary 

ISABELLE 

Mildred again ! Your head is hipped with Mildred. 
Can't you see that she has been deceiving you.'^ 

MORRIS 

Of course. She confessed that almost immediately. 

ISABELLE 

She confessed it ! 

MORRIS 

Certainly. She admitted that she was trying to 
conceal her infatuation for me. She had to, for I 
read her thoughts. 

ISABELLE 

Foolish boy! What do you know of woman's 
thoughts ? 

MORRIS 

Everything. I am a dramatist. 



/ 



114 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Just slop to think, Maurice. Only this morning 
she called us both "silly children" for practising Anti- 
Matrimony. And now she pretends to practise it her- 
self. Doesn't that show you how paradoxical she is? 

MORRIS 

Of course; it shows me how great — how progres- 
sive — ^how modern she is. Paradox is the standard of 
progress. Only the vulgar mind is consistent. 

ISABELLE 

Do you forget the old proverb 



MORRIS 

Proverbs, my dear, are relics of the past. Modern 
truths are inverted proverbs. I learned that from the 
Masters long ago. 

ISABELLE 

Oh, dear, then, I won't try to argue. I know how 
much wiser and deeper you are. Only, beloved, I will 
appeal to our vows to each other. Don't you love me 
— don't you love me any more? 

MORRIS 

I don't see what that has to do with Mildred. I 
can't help it if you both love me. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 115 

ISABELLE 

But she doesn't love you ; not as I do. Look at me, 
Maurice. Don't you remember how we stood here to- 
gether, and you called me so many beautiful names? 

MORRIS 

Yes. But they don't seem to apply to you now. 
Somehow a different atmosphere seems to cling about 
you. 

ISABELI.E 

[^Wretchedly. 1 
Oh, this dress ! 

MORRIS 

[Suspiciously.'] 
I did not mention it. Yet I notice you still wear it, 
in spite of my appeal to your conscience. Presuma- 
bly, my brother 

ISABELLE 

ElHott has been 



MORRIS 

I see! Elliott has been the reason. Isabelle, you 
have turned traitor to our cause. Instead of winning 
him over to our principles, as you promised me, you 
are allowing him to corrupt you to his. 

ISABELLE 

Not at all. Elliott has been the only kind person 
in the house to me. No one else has come near me. 
He came and rocked Cynthia for half an hour 



116 ANTI-MATRIMONY \ 

MORRIS I 

Elliott rocked Cynthia. Indeed! ] 

ISABELLE ^ 

\_With increasing tearfulness.'\ \ 
And before that he read me an essay on "Sociolog- 
ical Investigations in the Slum Districts of Our '. 
Larger " j 

MORRIS I 

So ! Filled your mind with slumming and domes- I 
ticity! And what else does Elliott do for you? j 

[EnteVy left, Elliott.] 

ELLIOTT 

Here are the stockings, my dear. 

ISABELLE 

\_Taking from him a pair of hdby^s socks.'\ 
Oh, thanks. 

ELLIOTT 

They're both mended. 

MORRIS 

By you? 

ELLIOTT 

[To IsABELLE.] % 

Mother urges you to put them on Cynthia at once. , 

■ i 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 117 

ISABELLE 

I'm sure I thank you, Elliott. 

MORRIS 

[Looking after her, in astonishment. 1 
Isabelle ! 

ELLIOTT 

How remarkably she has developed! 

MORRIS 

You think so ! 

ELLIOTT 

She is wonderfully changed. 

MORRIS 

You are right. She is wonderfully changed. Why 
has she changed? 

ELLIOTT 

Why? 

MORRIS 

Elliott, your profession is brotherly love. Do you 
think this a brother!}' way to deal with me? 

ELLIOTT 

This way ! What way ? 

MORRIS 

The way of the hypocrite. You know why Isabelle 
has changed. 



118 ANTI-MATRIMONY 



ELLIOTT ! 



I know? 



MORRIS : 

Yes, you know; and you cannot escape me by turn-; 

ing into a poll parrot. You yourself have changed; 

Isabelle. i 

ELLIOTT I 

You interest me. Can you advance any proofs? ^ 

I 

MORRIS I 

Proofs ! Look where she's gone now ; gone to mind^ 
the baby of her own accord. Unprecedented ! I tellj 
you, you are weaning her from my cause — from my I 
affections; instructing her how to rock cradles andj^ 
dandle infants. You are domesticating her. You arej 
making her a Mat ! 

ELLIOTT 

And suppose I were, may I ask what you arej 
making of Mildred? J 

MORRIS 1 

Certainly. An Anti. I am proud of it, and I gave^ 
you fair warning. This morning I offered you myl 
principles; 3^ou rejected them. I told you then you I 
v/ould reap the consequences. Now you must face| 
them. Amorata has accepted my principles, and hasi 
repudiated you. 

ELLIOTT 

I beg pardon. Who did you say? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 119 

MORRIS 

Your wife that was. 

ELLIOTT 

But you mentioned another 



MORRIS 

I mentioned her mystic name. You would not 
understand. Oh, it's hke you to smile. 

ELLIOTT 

\_Biting his lips, glances at a large pad which he car- 
ries.^ 
Did I smile.? If so, it was only to conceal what I 
suffer. 

MORRIS 

Do I not suffer too? But do you think I object to 
that? Suffering is the symbol of the cause I serve. 
The joy of suffering is the art of mysticism; and I 
am a practical mystic, who lives his art. 

ELLIOTT 

You evade the subject of Mildred. 

MORRIS 

I do not. I have freed her from your tyranny 
frankly, honorably, above-board. But you have gone 
to work clandestinely, treacherously, to inveigle Isa- 
belle away from me. 



120 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

If I have ingratiated myself with Isabelle, how 
need that affect you? \_S ear chin gly^ Of course, now, 
if you were married to her 

MORRIS 

Married ! Do you imagine that the abra cadabra 
of a mumbled marriage-vow makes any difference? 

ELLIOTT 

I have understood you to claim that it makes all 
the difference in the world. 

MORRIS 

How so? 

ELLIOTT 

Between an Anti and a Mat. 

MORRIS 

Why — why, of course, in a sense, it does and — and 
it doesn't. That depends on whether one speaks as 
a man, or a mystic. 

ELLIOTT 

[Glancing again at his pad.^ 
You must forgive me if I regard this matter merely 
as a man. To me, it is terribly simple: You, my 
brother, have entered my home and seduced from me 
my wife. 

MORRIS 

Seduced! How old-fashioned you are! 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 121 

ELLIOTT 

Yes, Morris, old-fashioned. I am the last in the 
line of those ancient ghosts you spoke of: my skull 
is square and my chin is [Glancing at his pad'] Puri- 
tanical. To me, this outrage is not to be regarded 
lightly. To me, it is a domestic tragedy. 

MORRIS 

Do you think I don't appreciate the tragedy? 

ELLIOTT 

[^Taking up the leathern case, begins to toy with it, 
with increasing air of despondency.'] 
This case — I have smiled, I have assumed a forced 
gaiety, in hopes — this very case — in hopes that I 
should awaken ; that this nightmare would be dis- 
pelled. It's of leather — ^just a hundred years ago. 

MORRIS 

What's a hundred 

ELLIOTT 

This case. I have tried to put it off my mind. But 
I fear it is hopeless. 

MORRIS 

What.? 

ELLIOTT 

The case. It belonged to an old cavalry — [With 
sudden intensity] Morris, why have you come back 
to revive these old horrors of our house .^^ Isn't this 
the night of the nineteenth of May? 



122 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

It is. What of it? 

ELLIOTT 

[/w a terrible voice. '\ 
Don't stand there. He stood In that very spot. 

MORRIS 

[Starting from the spot.'\ 
Who.'' What are you talking about? 

ELLIOTT 

Colonel Nehemiah Grey, our ancestor. He stood 
there, and opening this very case, he took a brace 

MORRIS 

Took what? 

ELLIOTT 

He took a brace — a brace of old cavalry pis- 
tols 

MORRIS 

Cavalry pistols? Good Lord — my play! 

ELLIOTT 

[Who has opened the case, takes slowly out a pistol.'] 
And on this very night in May, he shot — I've tried 
to put it off my mind. But Mildred — the thought of 
Mildred always eggs me on. Morris, this affair must 
be settled between us. When I am moved deeply, I 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 123 

am not a man of words, but deeds. We two are 
brothers. One of us is enough for Mildred. Just 
a hundred years ago to-night, two Grey brothers 
stood here, as we are standing now. One was super- 
fluous. Well [^sIowIt/ raising the pistol^, one was 
removed. 

MORRIS 

[Crying out.'\ 
What are you doing .^^ 

[The voice of Mildred calls outside: ''HosmerTl 

ELLIOTT 

[Letting his hand fall.'\ 
Her voice ! 
[Leaving the open pistol-case on the table, he moves 
backward toward the desk, concealing the pistol.'] 

MILDRED 

[Outside, with musical cadence.] 
Hosmer ! 

MORRIS 

[Looking toward the door, right.] 
Amorata ! 

[Enter Mildred. She is dressed in Neapolitan cos- 
tume of scarlet and yellow, and whirls into the 
room, shaking a tambourine.] 



J 



IM ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

Hosmer ! Are you ready for the ball ? We will go 
to the ball together. 

ELLIOTT 

\^Sin1<:s murmuring into the desk-chair.^ 
Hie jacet Elhott! 

MORRIS 

What is this, Amorata? 

MILDRED 

This is your triumph, my Hosmer. I have arrayed 
myself in scarlet and fine linen for you — for you. 
Look: am I not erotic — am I not beautiful.'^ 

MORRIS 

Beyond words. 

MILDRED 

We will go to the ball. I will dance for you the 
Tarantella. Would you know me, my Hosmer? 
Look in my eyes — would you guess the despair in 
their brightness? See me move — would you suspect 
the matrimony that once weighed me down? 



MORRIS 



Never, Amorata. 



MILDRED 

For your sake I wear proudly the colors of our 
cause. In your praise I reveal my long-stifled genius. 
[^Beginning to dance as she speaks. ~\ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 125 

This, at last, is to live. I, the dead, am awakened. 
I will go to the ball. Like this I will dance — like this, 
for you alone. Es lebe das Leben! 

l^While she dances, Morris — glancing uneasily at 
Elliott, who has buried himself in the deslc- 
chair in the comer — approaches the table and se- 
cures the pistol-case, which he closes and holds 
tightly under his arm. Mildred has danced but 
a moment, and is just taking a wild, vivacious 
pose, when Isabelle enters, left, confronting 
her.~\ 

isabelle 
Mildred ! Is this — you ? 

MILDRED 

Madam, this is Amorata. I am dancing for Hos- 
mer. 

ISABELLE 

Hosmer — Amorata ! You have been reading his 
play! 

MILDRED 

We are going to the ball. 

ISABELLE 

What ball.? I don't believe there's a ball. 

MILDRED 

Pardon me : there is always a ball. 



126 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

Maurice, I appeal to you. Is there a ball? Are 
you going with her? 

MILDRED 

Come, my Hosmer. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice ! Will you do such a thing ? 

MORRIS 

I will do all things in the cause of Anti-Matrimony. 

ISABELI.E 

But that is our cause. 

MORRIS 

No longer, Isabelle ; you have deserted it. 

MILDRED 

[To Morris.] 
Take me away. 

ISABELLE 

Elliott — Elliott, I appeal to you. 
[Elliott, who has been loriting at the desl^, rises, 
feverishly thrusting a sheet of paper into an en- 
velope. 1 

MILDRED 

[To Morris.] 
You hear; she appeals to him. Oh, telephone for 
an automobile ! 

[Morris reaches toward the instrument.'] 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 127 

TSARELLE 

Stop ! I forbid you to telephone. 

MORRIS 

You forbid! By what right? 

ISABELT.E 

By the right of an injured wife. 

MILDRED AND ELLIOTT 

A wife! 

ISABELLE 

Yes; that man is my husband. 

MILDRED AND ELLIOTT 

Horrible ! 

MORRIS 

Nonsense ; she is mad. 
[Putting his hand on the telephone, holds the ear- 
receiver to speak in.~\ 
What's the number? 

ISAT^ELLE 

Stop! We were married on November 16, 1907, 
in Vienna. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer, is this true? 

MORRIS 

No; she is mad, I say. Ask her for proofs. 



128 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

[Unclasping from her throat her gold chain with a 
medallion locket. ~\ 
Here! Here are the proofs. 

MILDRED AND MORRIS 

What? Where? 

ISABELLE 

J^Opens the locket, and unfoldi/ng a thin sheet of for- 
eign paper, holds it out exultantly. 'I 
Here; this is our marriage-certificate. 

MILDRED 

[Taking it, reads.'] 
"Stadthaus, Wien: den sechzehnten November, 
neunzehn hundert sieben und " 

MORRIS 

[Snatching it from her.'\ 
Let me see. 

ISABELLE 

O Maurice, I forgot to burn it. 

MORRIS 

[Glancing at the paper, strides to the fireplace.] 
Let me save you the trouble. 

[He throws it in the flames.] 

ISABELLE 

Help! Save it. 

[She snatches, hut singes her fingers.] 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 1^9 

MILDRED 

You deny her claim? 

MORRIS 

I repudiate it — and her. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice 

MORRIS 

Stand away from me. 

\_He goes toward the telephone.^ 

ISABELLE 

Hear me! I beg 

ELLIOTT 

[Starting forward between them, dashes an envelope 
at Mildred's feet.^ 
Farewell to all of you ! 

[He rushes out of doorsJ] 

MILDRED 

\Tremhlingly.'\ 
Elliott! 

MORRIS 

[Stooping for the envelope, hands it to Mildred.] 
What new insult is this? 



130 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

[In agitation, opens it and reads. ^ 
"Faithless one: 

You will find me in the mill-race. 

Elliott." 

MORRIS 

The mill-race! 
\^From outdoors, resounds a sharp, single report. ~\ 

MILDRED 

Hark! Was that a pistol shot? 

MORRIS 

\_Opening the case.~\ 
The other is gone. 

ISABELLE 

I saw one in his hand. 

MILDRED 

My God ! He has shot himself. 

MORRIS 

\_Starti/ng toward the door.^ 
Oh, it's not possible! 

MILDRED 

\_Motionless and intense. 1 
The end has come. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 131 

ISABELLE 

Oh, quickly! 

MORRIS 

What shall we do? 

MILDRED 

\_Half audibly. 1 
The mill-race. 

MORRIS 

My scenario: it's all so horribly like. What have 
I done.'* 

MILDRED 

\_Swaying with closed eyes.'\ 
Let me lean upon you. 

MORRIS 

Don't fall: I'm beside you. 

MILDRED 

Hosmer, it had to be. But we will go forth in 
atonement. 

MORRIS 

Go forth.? 

MILDRED 

To the mill-race. See ! I lean far out on your 
arm. Together — together ! Hosmer ! 

MORRIS 

Amorata ! 

[They go out into the night, '\ 



132 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

\_Following to the door.^ 
Maurice, take me! take me! 

lEnter, down the stairs, Mrs. Grey, in perturbation.^ 

MRS. GREY 

My dear, I heard a noise — a shot. What — what's 
the matter.'^ 

ISABELLE 

[Wildly.] 
Elliott — Mildred — Maurice 

MRS. GREY 

Where are they gone? 

ISABELLE 

[Rushing out of doors.] 
To the mill-race. 

MRS. GREY 

A race, my dear ? A race ! But why 

[Hurrying to the door, she calls out, while the door, 
right, is opened stealthily, and Elliott, enter- 
ing, pistol in hand, tiptoes up the stairs.] 
Children — ^take a lantern. You'll need rubbers. 
It's very muddy by the mill-pond. It may be burglars 
— A lantern, my dears — your rubbers ! 

CURTAIN. 



ACT IV 



ACT IV 

Later, the same evening. 

At the desk Elliott is discovered, arranging a pile 
of letters. At the table, Mildred — in a dress- 
ing-gown, worn over her Tarantella costume — 
sits typewriting. Elliott crosses to the table. 

ELLIOTT 

May I interrupt you a moment? 

MILDRED 

Certainly. 

ELLIOTT 

Here's that correspondence on the Civic Conven- 
tion. Please enter these under separate headings. 
[Handing her separate piles of opened letters. '\ 
This — factory hygiene. 

MILDRED 

[As she takes each pile, marks the top sheet with a 
pencil, and lays the pile separately on the table.~\ 
File under F. 

ELLIOTT 

Immigration service. 

MILDRED 

I. 

135 



136 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

Tuberculosis exhibit. 

MILDRED 

T. 

ELLIOTT 

Playground association. Conservation of for- 
ests. 

MILDRED 

p.— c. 

ELLIOTT 

Arbitration of labor. 

MILDRED 

A. All right, sir. 

ELLIOTT 

[Glancing at the typewriter carriage and lifting i*.] 
Now, in this article of mine that you're typewrit- 
ing, I've been thinking: this matter of reclaiming 
the state bogs 

MILDRED 

[With a quick glance and smile. '^ 
Draining the swamps, you mean. 

ELLIOTT 

Yes. 

MILDRED 

[Taking down a fie, she puts away the letters while 
she talks, '\ 
Want my advice.? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 137 

ELLIOTT 

Well, if jou 

MILDRED 

Sit down. I advise you to make us a shining ex- 
ample, and begin right here at home. 

ELLIOTT 

Here.? 

MILDRED 

In our own orchard. Look at my red stockings ! 

ELLIOTT 

My dear, you should have changed them — and your 
dress. You'll catch cold. 

MILDRED 

You forget: I'm immune. I've got the influenza 
already — from those poor children. 

ELLIOTT 

Where did you leave them? 

MILDRED 

After your shot.? Near the pond. When Isabelle 
caught up with us, I slipped into the mill, locked the 
door, and came through the back way. They were 
groping then toward the old dam. The frogs were 
piping ; it was dark as a pocket, and the mud [Bursts 
out laughing and hums.'\ — Oh, my dancing slippers ! 



138 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ELLIOTT 

What! You steered them into the swamp? 

MILDRED 

[Innocently. '\ 
I didn't say "steered." 

ELLIOTT 

[With a dubious looTc'l 
Mildred! You never told me. 

MILDRED 

No sermons, please, till I win. My little game 
isn't over. 

ELLIOTT 
How SO? 

MILDRED 

Isabelle is safely married to Morris, but Morris 
hasn't returned the compliment — ^yet. 

ELLIOTT 

By George, I lost track of that. Do you suppose 
he's plotting vengeance out there now? 

MILDRED 

I suppose fire and brimstone are a frost to it. You 
know, he threatened before to burn the ghosts out of 
these walls. 

ELLIOTT 

What are we to do if he shows fight? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 1S9 

MILDRED 

Trust Amorata! 

ELLIOTT 

But suppose he talks Anti among the neighbors? 

MILDRED 

Well, Amorata can talk too. 

ELLIOTT 

But that won't put water on his fire. 

MILDRED 

My dear, mud is thicker than water. 
[^She puts out her slippers.'] 

ELLIOTT 

I see. You mean that, after the swamp, his Anti- 
Matrimony reform will be left to 

MILDRED 

To the bullfrogs. No young reformer can afford 
to wade far into mud — especially good, mushy mill- 
pond mud. Now will you scold me? 

lEnter Mrs. Grey.] 

MRS. GREY 

Haven't they come back? 

MILDRED 

Who? 



140 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS. GREY 

Why, the children — Morris and Isabelle. 
[Elliott resumes work at his desTc.'\ 

MILDRED 

Don't worry about them. They're sitting in the 
arbor. 

MRS. GREY 

In the arbor! But it's dark; it's wet; it's been 
raining hard. Why don't they come in? 

MILDRED 

Just a case of cold feet, I guess. 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, and I told Isabelle to take her rubbers : they'll 
catch their deaths. 

MILDRED 

Never fear. They've escaped death once to-night. 

MRS. GREY 

Mildred! was it a burglar.? What do you mean? 
Oh dear, I do wish you'd explain if it's still charades, 
or a game, or what? 

[Elliott and Mildred hrealc mto laughter. 1 

MILDRED 

Still charades, mother. Aren't you guessing? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 141 

MRS. GREY 

Well, I'm still puzzling. But, anyivay, dears, it 
does my heart good now to hear you laughing again, 
and to see you both happy and busy at your work as 
usual. It must be a game, I'm sure; so I'll keep on 
guessing. 

MILDRED 

Do! — that's a darling. 

MRS. GREY 

And now that you tell me they're married, I know 
I should be perfectly happy. But why did they say 
they weren't? 

MII.DRED 

Oh, just to be in style: it's the fashion. 

MRS. GREY 

I suppose that's it. You see, the fashions change 
so, I don't seem to keep up with them. Now, when 
Elliott's father and I were married, the wedding-cards 
came first and the christening afterward; but now- 
adays 

MILDRED 

Nowadays, dear, it's christen in haste and marry 
at leisure. 

MRS. GREY 

To think of it ! 



143 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

[^As Mildred rises and lays aside her dressing- gown, 
Mrs. Grey looks at her closely.'] 
Oh, that dress, Mildred! It sets me worrying 
again. I'm afraid it's worse than charades. 

MILDRED 

Worse } 

MRS. GREY 

I'm afraid you're practising to — to really go on 
the stage. 

MILDRED 

Why, what gave you that idea.? 

MRS. GREY 

Something you said. You said, my dear, that Mor- 
ris had taught you to be one of those theatrical per- 
sons I've read about ; it begins with "s." 

MILDRED 

A star, you mean? 

MRS. GREY 

No, it's another word: "Super" — ^that was it — 
"super." 

MILDRED 

A "super" — me ! 

MRS. GREY 

Yes, my dear, you said you were going to be a 
superwoman. I heard you. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 143 

MILDRED 

[_Laughing.'\ 
That's right — just a superwoman. And now I'm 
going to make you the star, Mother. 

MRS. GREY 

[^AgJiast.'\ 
Me! Me, Mildred — a star? 

MIIiDRED 

Yes; come along! I've got an idea. 

ELLIOTT 

[As Mildred starts up the stairs.^ 
Where are you bound now ? 

MILDRED 

To the attic again. You must go to your room, 
and take the lamp. They'll never come in while there's 
a light downstairs. Come, mother : it's still charades, 
you know. \_Raising her voicel Good-night, El- 
liott! 

MRS. GREY 

[Preceding her.l 
A star! But — ^but — ^how will you make me shine, 
Mildred.? 

MILDRED 

[With long calling cadence, "l 
Good-night, EHiott! 

[Exeunt along the landing, left,'] 



144j anti-matrimony 

ELLIOTT 

[Takvng the lamp and some papers, goes out, right.'] 
Good-night, Mildred. Good-night ! 

[^The fire is very low, and casts faint, sputtering 
gleams into the dark hall. After a silence, 
through which only the clock ticks, two vague 
forms emerge from the deeper gloom outdoors, 
and move stealthily in to the glow of the hearth.] 

ISABELLE 

[Barely audible.] 
Please put on a log. 

[The dim figure of Morris gropes to the wood-closet, 
opens it and reaches in. Isabelle shivers and 
shakes her skirt.] 
Thank heaven they didn't sit up any longer: I'm 

soaked through. 

[Rummaging with half -articulate oaths, Morris 
brings forth two sticks of wood, puts them 
on the fire and pokes it. The room grows in- 
termittently lighter, revealing the plightful ap- 
pearance of the two. Morris's dress-suit is 
soaked and bedraggled with mire, the shirt-bosom 
bespattered with mud. Isabelle's appearance is 
similarly forlorn; and both are dishevelled by the 
rain.] 

ISABELLE 

[Faintly.] 
I'm famished. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 145 

MORRIS 

[Taking a silver basket of white grapes from the 
mantelpiece. 1 
Grapes ; have some. 

ISABEIiLE 

[More faintly.^ 
Thanks. 

[Shoving the settee near the hearth for Isabelle to 
sit in, Morris — wringing his dilapidated coat- 
tails — sinks on to a hassock in the shadow. Fol- 
lows then a speechless pause, during which the 
occasional patter of grape-skins in the fire indi- 
cates their occupation. Soon Isabelle speaks, 
plaintively.'] 
If only the mill-door hadn't been locked 

[Morris makes a guttural sound.'] 
We needn't have waded through that awful swamp. 

morris 
Hah! 

isabelle 
Maurice, are you ill.'' 

morris 
[Abysmally.'] 
Mill-door ! 

isabelle 
Is it the grapes.? I'm afraid they're sour. 



146 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MORRIS 

She locked it. I saw her go in. She left us to 
flounder in the mire. 

ISABELLE 

Ah, so you begin to see through her. At last you 

realize I was right. You must acknowledge 

[^ bunch of grapes falls in her lap.^ 
Thank you. Oh, how I do wish-— — 

MORRIS 

\_Hoarsel7/.^ 
Don't wish: eat! 

ISABELLE 

[After another pause of grape-eating. '\ 
Beloved, what will become of your campaign now? 

MORRIS 

[Growling,'] 
Mud! 

ISABELLE 

Wasn't it awful ^ Up to my knees ! If only we had 
stayed on the mountain-tops of our spirit, this never 
would have happened. I'm sure it's symbolic. 

[Morris mutters.'] 
Don't you feel, dear, after all, that this mud has 
a certain mysticy something 

MORRIS 

Sticky .? I'm a paste-pot ! 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 147 

ISABELLE 

It will soon dry, dear. Now that I'm safe indoors 
and feeling warmer, I begin to see all this in its true 
poetic light. 

MORRIS 

Poetic! Where's a match? 

\^He rises and gropes ah out. 1 

ISABELLE 

I begin to feel that I can even forgive Mildred. 
I can understand how, being my sister, a certain 
mystic likeness to me should have led you to feel that 
temporary infatuation 

MORRIS 

Damn! 

ISABELLE 

Can't you find a light, dear? 

MORRIS 

J[StriJcing his shins against a chair. ^ 
Not a glim! 

ISABELLE 

Light a scrap of paper. 

MORRIS 

[Tearing a piece of paper off a pad on the table, 
takes it to the fire. There, about to light it, he 
looks closer and reads.'] 
"Suicide: pistols, coal-gas, drowning (mill-race 

preferred)." O Hades! 



148 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELIiE 

What did you say, love? 

MORRIS 

I said — Hell. 
[He crumples the paper, twists it and lights it in the 
fire. Carrying it thus as a taper, he searches on 
the table.'] 
Where's a cigarette? 
[Feeling in a tin box, he takes from it a cartridge, 
glances at it, lifts the box quickly and reads the 
label.] 
"44 Cahbre Blank Cartridges." Blank ! Blankety 
blank!! 

[The taper burns short and he blows it out.] 

ISABELLE 

Besides, dear, when I stop to consider that, out of 
my guiding love for you, I really did dazzle poor El- 
liott a little too 

[The clock begins to strike.] 

Goodness ! Ten o'clock. I wonder if that darling 
baby has had her 

MORRIS 

What? What's that? 

ISABELLE 

Oh, nothing — I beg pardon. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 149 

MORRIS 

Did I hear you refer to the baby? 

ISABELLE 

I just thought about her bottle, but of course ■ 

MORRIS 

Thank God! That's the first sensible thought 
you've had to-night. 

ISABELLE 

Maurice ! 

MORRIS 

No — Morris; "Maurice" is up the spout. 

ISABELLE 

But, my love — you know, ever since we first en- 
tered into Anti-Matrimony 

MORRIS 

Anti-Matrimony is in the mud. 

ISABELLE 

Dearest, don't speak so. You mustn't think be- 
cause I weakly referred to the baby that I don't share 
with you your lofty emancipated ideals. And, be- 
loved, even if I did keep our marriage-certificate in 
the locket, please forgive me for — — 

MORRIS 

Quit it, Isabelle. It's the only thing I do forgive 
you for. 



150 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

What — ^the marriage-certificate 1 But you've always 
told me that the Masters 

MORRIS 

Drop them, please ! Can't you see that I've got to 
get a whole clean suit, or go back to the swamp? 

ISABELLE 

A clean suit? But — - — 

MORRIS 

A new campaign. 

ISABELLE 

[Gasping.l 
Do you mean that we are to be Mats? 

MORRIS 

Just so — ^to scrape the mud off. 

ISABELLE 

But, darling, is that quite consistent? 

MORRIS 

Consistent? Haven't I told you that consistency 
is a fallacy of the vulgar mind? I am an artist. 

ISABELLE 

Oh! 

MORRIS 

All perfect art is paradox. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 151 

ISABELLE 

I see. 

MORRIS 

And therefore a modem artist who is truly a su- 
perman — Oh, damn it, there I go again. Stop me. 
I'm cribbing from the old dress-suit case. 

ISABELIiE 

Dearest, I don't know just what to say. I feel so 
very — so — What will Mildred think of this change 
in you.'' 

MORRIS 

She.? Don't you see that she thinks she has the 
Yankee laugh on us? 

ISABELLE 

Insufferable American humor! 

MORRIS 

Quite so. It's devilish, but now it's our last resort. 
It's simply a case of fight the devil with fire, or — ^be 
roasted. \_Muttering'\ "Mill-race preferred!" 

ISABELLE 

What are we to do ? 

MORRIS 

Yankee them back, that's all. Wipe them out with 
a clean sponge. They expect me to scowl and swear. 
Well then, watch me smile and compliment. 



152 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

ISABELLE 

I'm watching, dear. Do you really mean it? 

MORRIS 

[Grimly.'] 
Do I look it? 

ISABELLE 

I mean — Do you mind, darling, if I — if I feel — 
very happy about it? 

MORRIS 

Happy about what? 

ISABELLE 

{^Embracing him.'] 
That we're to be Mats, after all! 

THE VOICE OF MILDRED 

\_Low and 'plaiffitively.] 
Hosmer ! 

[Morris starts,] 

ISABELLE 

[Clinging to him.] 
My dear! 
[At the top of the stairs, appears an obscure Figure.] 

THE VOICE 

[Wailing again.] 
Hosmer! Why have you forsaken me? 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 153 

ISABELLE 

[Nervously y to Morris.] 
What is it? 

MORRIS 

It's the limit. 

[The Figure hesitates, and starts to turn bacJc.'\ 

THE VOICE 

It is I — ^Amorata ! 

ISABELLE 

Some one is coming down the stairs. Look ! Is it 
she? 

\_In the vagueness, the Figure slowly descends.'] 

THE VOICE 

[With dying cadence.] 
Why did you leave me alone — alone in the mill- 
pond? 

MORRIS 
[To ISABELLE.] 

Keep out of the firelight. 

[At the bottom of the stairs, the Figure emerges in 
to the faint glow of the fire. Clad in a long, 
gray cloak of ample folds, and huge peaked hat 
pulled far down over its face, it moves slowly 
toward them.] 

MILDRED 

Now I am doomed to walk as your family ghost: 
O grey, grey, grey — forsaken forevermore! 



154j anti-matrimony 

MORRIS 
[To ISABELLE.] 

Leave go of me. 

THE VOICE 

\_As the Figure raises one cloaked arm and points at 
them.'] 
I am the Passionate Puritan. Forever I shall 
haunt you both — forevermore! 

MORRIS 

\_Coming forward.] 
Stop pointing at me. Take off your hat. Stop 
this miserable faking! 

THE FIGURE 

[Removing the great hat.] 
Why, Morris, it's only charades. 
[Emerging from the ample cloak, which falls on the 
floor, Mrs. Grey stands revealed in the firelight,] 

ISABELLE 

Mother Grey! 

MORRIS 

[Raising both arms, inarticulate, suddenly holts for 
a corner.] 
O shucks ! 

MRS. GREY 

Yes; you've guessed. That's the word. Mildred 
just told me so. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 155 

MILDRED 

[Appearing between the curtams of the landing, runs 

down the stairs, striking a match J\ 

Elliott, Elliott, come ! Hot chocolate for five ! 

[She lights a lamp on the desli.^ 

ELLIOTT 

[Entering, downstairs, left, with a steaming tray.~\ 
Who's won? What does he say? 

MILDRED 

We've won: He says "Shucks!" We've made a 
Yankee of him, after all. 

ELLIOTT 

[Setting the tray on the tdbleJ\ 
Hang if we haven't. 

MILDRED 

You darlings — ^both! The Antitoxin has cured 
you. 

MRS. GREY 

The what—Mildred? 

MILDRED 

[Whispers in Mrs. Grey's earJ^ 
Quickly. 

MRS. GREY 

But how 

[Motioned away by Mildred, she exits, agitated, 
up the stairs.^ 



156 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MILDRED 

You adorable boy — let me kiss you! 

MORRIS 

Thanks; presently. [Aside to Isabelle] Now 
just watch me! [To Mildred] But first I wish to 
apologize. 

MILDRED 

Apologize ! 

MORRIS 

For having made you the victims of my little prac- 
tical joke. 

ELLIOTT 

Victims ! 

MILDRED 

Your little joke? 

MORRIS 

I am very glad you take it so lightly. I was 
afraid — You see our appearance. 

ELLIOTT 

Been fishing? 

MORRIS 

Yes, Elliott — in the mill-race — fishing for suckers. 
They still bite. 

ELLIOTT 

So it looks. 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 157 

MORRIS 

Doesn't it? You see, it happened like this: I am, 
as Mildred knows, writing a Httle skit on the Masters, 
called "Hosmer's Home," in which, by the way, Isa- 
belle is collaborating. 

ISABELLE 

A little skit. 

MORRIS 

So it occurred to me — while we were waiting for 
our trunks from the steamer — knowing Mildred's 
great fondness for dancing and private theat- 
ricals 

MILDRED 

[^Twmkling.l 
Oh, you arch villain! 

MORRIS 

It occurred to me, I say, to enlist her rare gifts in 
trying out a few scenes in the rough, just to work 
up my material. She was very obliging. 

ISABELLE 

Very. 

MORRIS 

You also, Elliott, came nobly to the rescue. I am 
only sorry — and apologize — ^that in working up the 
mill-race climax, our enthusiasm should have slightly 
damaged these stage-properties: This dress-suit of 



158 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

yours, Elliott, which I took the liberty of borrow- 
ing 

ELLIOTT 

The deuce you did! 

MORRIS 

And that dress of yours, Mildred, which you so 
kindly loaned to Isabelle. 

ISABELLE 

It was good of you, Mildred! 

MILDRED 

Not at all, dear, considering your trunks arrived 
here yesterday evening. 

ISABELLE 

[Shaking Mildred.] 
My own trunks .^^ Here.'^ Yesterday? 

MILDRED 

So now we are ready for supper. 

[She arranges the table and chairs.'] 

ELLIOTT 

[Taking Morris's hand.~\ 
Never mind about the suit. Want to change now.^* 

morris 
No, thanks. I'll put it in the suit-case — later. Just 
now I'm interested in that map of yours. 
[Points to the wall.~\ 



ANTI-MATRIMONY 159 

ELLIOTT 

Oh, my ideal community! 

MORRIS 

Yes. Please show me your Home for Incurable 
Married Couples. 

MRS. GREY 

[^ Appears on the stairs, holding a swaddled bundle.^ 
Mildred 

ISABELLE 

\_With a cry.l 
Oh, it's the baby ! 
[She rushes to the stairs and seizes it from Mrs. 
Grey.] 

The darling! Has she had her bottle.? 

MORRIS 

Halloa! Is that Cynthia? 

MILDRED 

[Beclconing all to the table, where the steaming cups 
are arranged, takes Cynthia in her arms.^ 
Cynthia who? 

MORRIS 

Just Cynthia. 

MILDRED 

No, indeed. This is Cynthia Grey. Isn't it, 
Mother? 



160 ANTI-MATRIMONY 

MRS. GREY 

Oh, yes, my son. Please ! We can christen her 
Grey now, can't we.? 

MORRIS 

Grey.? No, Mammy: Red-white-and-blue for Cyn- 
thia! 

MILDRED 

Her Aunt Mildred is going to be godmother. 

MORRIS 

\^Looking across Ms lifted cup of chocolate, to Mil- 
dred, as they all gather round the tahle,^ 
Here's to her Auntie! 

MILDRED 

[Cuddling Cynthia.] 
Hush, Morris. You mustn't say "Anti !" 

FINIS. 



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One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



